Good Mom Moments

The subject of "mom-guilt" has been on my mind a lot lately. It could do with my battle with breastfeeding that leaves it fresh in my mind, but it also could be the tendency many of us have to be really hard on ourselves.

We often think that because we are a mom we should be able to do everything and when we fall short we think there is something wrong with us.

Even as I write this my mind is swirling with all the things I did wrong today and the things I didn't get done.

I could write lists of incidents like when I put Lydia in time out for sticking her finger in my chapstick tube and smearing it on her toys but then realizing that she was simply trying to put ointment on their "boo-boos" like we did to hers when she scraped her knee. And the mom guilt starts to seep in.. "Geez Anna, she was just being caring to others."  

Or when I was working out this morning and trying to beat my current planking record and Lydia came and climbed on me and I couldn't hold the weight and crumbled. My first response was a "Lydia no!" And then the mom guilt crept in.. "She was only trying to play with me" And it's a cycle over and over..

We can always be more organized or more cheerful or more clean or more on top of things. No one expects us to be perfect but ourselves.

So.. I'm not going to focus on my list of "bad monster mom moments" and instead here is my list of ways that I have been a good mom lately.

• I bundled the girls up and took them on a short walk before bed to look at the Christmas lights in my neighborhood
• I let Lydia stay up past bedtime because we were enjoying reading her pop-up books
• Lydia got to watch an extra show as I cleaned the kitchen.
• I made pancakes for breakfast
• I danced around the family room with both girls in my arms to "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" 3 times
• I have a cinnamon apple candle burning and my house smells delicious
• We finger-painted pictures and thankful trees
• I got around to hanging some pictures on the walls
• I found some new names on family search to take to the temple
• I got up with each girl twice last night for a total of 6 interrupted hours of sleep
• I did laundry after being a week behind
• I wrote in my journal of special moments with the girls and the funny things Lydia has been saying lately
• I took a bath with Lydia and we played til the water got cold
• I pulled Adeline in bed with me and took a nap with her
• I had tickle and kissing wars with both girls until Adeline had a blow out all over her blanket

Writing that list started out really hard. I sat for a good 10 minutes just staring at my hands or at the big pine tree in my backyard. But toward the end I kind of got excited to write down some of the ways I have been a good mom.

I'm not all bad I guess. 

And neither are any of the women in my life who allow love to be the underlying reason for their actions. 

I think we should all take a step back every now and then and write down the things we are doing right and not focus so much on the wrong.

And some exciting news? Adeline is 3 months and is SUCH a happy girl. I honestly was worried she would be a harder baby due to her acid reflux but man was I wrong. 

Maybe it's because she is the second child and it forces her to be chill because she can't have all the attention or maybe it's because Lydia is there to watch and entertain her. Either way, she is happy to sit in her swing or in our arms and just watch with those big gray eyes (thinking they'll be hazel).

Adeline sleeps 12-14 hours at night with 2 feedings in there somewhere. She still sounds like a little piggy when she breathes and eats and I find myself speaking to her through snorts back. When she lies on her back she will kick her legs to scoot herself around and will get stuck in super awkward places. She is 14 lbs and is my little stiff chunk because she has the best thigh rolls and she still stiffens her body and planks it everywhere. 

Another good mom moment? I love these journals. I know I've said it before, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to look back on all these and for my girls to have them as they grow and see what life was like in their first year of life and how much they are loved.

I guess I just need to give myself a break. We are are worst critic right? 

Take a moment to tell yourself something YOU are good at and smile about it.