And then there were THREE girls

It is no secret that this pregnancy has been a night and day difference compared to my others. I'd even go as far as saying night/day and summer/winter different. With the first ones I was sick all the time once 7 weeks hit. Morning sickness meant ALL DAY sickness with throwing up and just feeling icky mixed right in.

So when 7 weeks hit for me with this one I expected it to be the same as the others. And it wasn't.

Yes I felt nauseous but not to the point of making friends with the toilet (Only 2 times so far which is AMAZING to me).

Mostly I just didn't want to eat anything sweet except for Junior Mints and I wanted all the meat. Salami especially. Throw some green olives on top and I was one happy mama.

So if the old wives tales were true then salty cravings meant boy right? And with my girls I had literally wanted all the sweet things-orange sherbet ice cream, airheads, applesauce, and anything candy.

And so.. I have thought for sure we were having a boy. I'd look up boy clothes and how I would do his room and how I'd put the girls together in one room. I'd be researching name ideas and blessing outfits and all that fun stuff. I kept calling the baby a boy as I felt "him" move and Brian would kindly remind me that it could be a girl.

Lydia has been telling me all along that the baby in mommy's tummy was a girl. I kept thinking maybe she was just saying that because she didn't understand that it could be a boy because all she really knew of was girls. 

But she was insistant. Even the morning of the ultrasound I tried to talk her out of it being a girl by explaining that it was time we had a baby brother. She again insisted that it was a girl.

So by the time I walked into the ultrasound I was seriously second-guessing all my thoughts.

The ultrasound tech asked if I wanted to know the gender and I said yes, but I expected her to wait til the end like my other ultrasounds had gone. But instead she told me first thing. 

She asked what I had at home and I said I had two girls and thought this one was a boy. And she simply said, "Looks like you'll be adding another girl to your home!"

I wasn't quite sure if I had heard right or seen correctly on the ultrasound. So I asked if she was sure and she told me that it was FOR SURE a girl emphasizing the "for sure."

I was so surprised. Not sad. Not happy. Surprised.

The rest of the ultrasound was SO fast. I was done in another 15 minutes which has never happened for me before. The baby is measuring right on her due date which was also surprising considering that her siblings were always ahead of due date.

Sooner than I had expected, I was out and walking to the car with a CD of the ultrasound, some pics, and an envelope for Brian to open later with the gender inside.

I got to my car and he called. He wanted to know now and couldn't wait. We tried to Facetime but he couldn't find service in the hospital he was at and so I sent him a picture as we chatted.

I wish I waited to be with him in person because his reaction was the most amazing ever. Pure excitement and love. This sweet man of mine shed a few tears and kept saying he was so blessed to have all these girls in his life.

Oh my heart!

I have had people think that I am disappointed because I thought it was a boy and it is another girl but I am not even close. I was the third girl in a row and so I just feel a special connection to this little one.

Since that day I just feel perfectly at peace. I love being able to say "She is kicking me" or telling the girls that they have a baby sister. I keep trying to imagine our lives with 3 girls running around and while it is hard to picture at times, I am truly excited.

Now excuse me while I go drizzle some capers over my salami. Yum! 

Christmas Through my 2 year-old's Eyes

I tried to finish up some last minute Christmas shopping today.

I thought I could make it quick but that doesn't often happen. I was kind of grumbling about how I had, had to return to a store twice because I'd been charged for two items I didn't purchase and then returned to get it sorted out which is always more of a hassle especially with two tired babies.

I had the carseat in one hand and was holding Lydia's hand with my other as we walked into one last store. I found myself half dragging Lydia and thinking "Just the one item.. that's it. Then we'll be home" and then to my dismay and frustration, Lydia let go of my hand and started running and yelling across the store "Jesus! Baby Jesus!"

I found myself chasing her down as she ran up to a life-sized nativity scene and knelt down at the porcelain bale of hay that held a delicate baby Jesus.

At first I tried to pull her away and "go get that item" but something caused me to just stop my hurry.. and watch.

I watched as Lydia touched his face and gave him a kiss right on his cheek and whispered in the sweetest voice "mine baby Jesus."

It made me start to wonder.. What is Christmas through my 2 year-old's eyes? She gets taken around from store to store, party to party, sees an old man in red that always seems to be holding kids and candy canes.. What in the world is she thinking?

For one thing.. I think that looking at Christmas through the eyes of a child makes Christmas a whole lot simpler.

To a child, Christmas is magical and Christmas is simple.

Finding scenes like this after playtime is a heart melter

They see pretty lights everywhere they go, and trees decorated in pretty colors. And though Lydia doesn't understand why she put "balls" on the tree and why they need to stay there and not be played with.. she does understand that it is beautiful.





Lately she has gotten really into "making things" for us and baby Adeline. She will color a picture and say "SEE!?" and then color some more and give it to us. I don't know if it is that we are trying to instill in her the art of sharing or what.. either way, I love it and it makes me smile as I watch her excitement to see our excitement.

She doesn't care how much a gift costs or what it looks like. And often she would much rather play with the bow on top anyway.

But it is that feeling of giving someone something that just warms a person up. And I know that everyone has different love languages, but no matter what your love language is, it just feels warm and fuzzy when you give someone you care about something and you wait to see their reaction.

A child lives in the moment. They aren't thinking about the next activity or what else needs to get done. They take in everything that is around them and I think that is where a lot of the magical feelings come from.

So it makes sense to me that as I am dragging this little girl through store after store, walking in and seeing something that is familiar is exciting. And I am reminded that even the smallest things are magical but we may often be in too big of a hurry to notice them.

Christmas really is just a whole lot simpler than we adults make it out to be.

Really though, the simplicity of Christ's birth is all in the simple and humble stable.. It's the simple act of love that changed the whole world.

I think it's important that through the hustle and bustle of our daily lives mixed with the busyness of the season that we take a moment and appreciate the simplicity of it all.

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.

We put lights up on our house which we have never had the opportunity to do before. What seemed like such a small thing to do has brought me such joy as I drive up and see our house.

Lydia loves to point out all the lights in the neighborhoods and especially if someone displays a star. We went walking around Farmington Station last week to see Santa and every lamppost had a wreath and bow attached. Lydia was so excited and kept calling them "Minnie's hats" which had us chuckling even from that simple thought.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Lydia's visit with Santa. She's never really had stranger danger so I just wasn't sure how she would respond. If you ask Lydia what Santa says she'll respond "Ho, Ho". The Santa at Farmington Station wasn't super friendly which I was pretty disappointed about. He just wasn't great with toddlers who can't really answer the question of what they want for Christmas.

Lydia just sat on his lap very shyly. Her face didn't move and nor did her body. She just held on to that candy cane and didn't want to leave Santa when it was time to hop down. As we walked away she kept repeating "ho ho" over and over.

We have a whole lot of this going on... Brian's rotation for residency has been in the ER this month. It has put his hours all over the place with many switching from night shifts to days and lots of exhaustion, but it has been nice to have him home during the day when he gets the chance and be around these darling little ladies.

And while Lydia has probably wondered why there are so many goodies in the house all of the sudden, I doubt she has cared as we all have indulged in a few delicious baking frenzies for #LIGHTtheWORLD that the church has encouraged. I have loved to get on social media and see what others are doing to be more Christlike and keep him in Christmas. I know I have felt closer to him this season by refocusing each day on His life and example.

When the snow came, I was a lot more excited about building snowmen than Lydia was. She was up for it until Mom thought it would be cool to make a family of snowmen.. You can see how well that turned out. Ever read the book "Snowmen at Night?" If not.. You should. I think our snowmen must have been sledding on the great hills by our house or something.

One of Lydia's favorite things to do is to bring the Christmas light right up to her eye.. particularly the pink lights. Watching her joy with all the wonders of this season has been one of my favorite parts of this month.

   I think right in the middle of our plans and busyness, we are often given small reminders to bring us to remembrance of what is most important. My sweet father-in-law had a heart attack this last week and had double bypass surgery just a few days ago. 

   He is doing remarkably well and we know it is because of the faith and prayers that have surrounded him and my mother-in-law at this time. 

   With Christmas less than a week away, it really put into perspective our priorities. While gifts, lights, baking treats, decorations, Santa, etc are exciting and may seem important at the time-what is most important are our friends and family and our Savior Jesus Christ. How blessed we are to celebrate him this time of year. 

       When we took the kids to visit Craig in the hospital, Lydia kept saying "Grapa owie" over and over. She wanted him to hold her, but didn't understand all the cords and tubes. We made a sign for him to hang in his room that had a picture of all his kids and grandkids holding a letter that spelled out "WE LOVE GRANDPA LARSON!" We just love this man so much. How happy we are to be blessed by such a wonderful man. Give an extra squeeze to your loved ones and an extra kiss to your kiddos. It's worth it. 

May we all count our blessings this Christmas season and strive to embrace the simplicity of the season. As we hold our dear ones near and open our eyes to see from the eyes of a child may it bring a little more faith and happiness as 2016 comes to a close.

BLESSED

Sunday October 30, our families gathered to witness the blessing of our sweet Adeline in our new ward in Bountiful Utah. My memories are very fresh of Lydia's blessing just shy of 2 years ago now. And I felt my emotions close to the surface all day with the blessing of another precious spirit.

Adeline wore the same dress that Lydia wore and I can't help but think of what darling little angels have come to our home.

Adeline was blessed by her daddy and surrounded by the wonderful men in her life who hold the priesthood. Watching these men that I love and admire gather around my daughter brought tears to my eyes.

I thought.. Today we say that Adeline was blessed but  the truth is.. we all were.

We are blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who love and support us (and we missed those who couldn't make it).

We are blessed to have the knowledge of the gospel and blessed to have an eternal family.

We are blessed to be back in Utah and blessed for our experiences and life we had in Illinois.

We are blessed to have a wonderful home and a job to take care of our littles.

We are blessed to have the priesthood in our home and a wonderful daddy who can bless me and his girls. I'm so happy to have him as my partner.
.

And we are blessed to truly have each other.

What more could I ask for?

Baby Larson #2 Maternity

My sister Camille Garrison is amazing.. she did these on our way to my cousin's cabin just off the side of the road in the matter of minutes. We are truly blessed to have her to be able to capture moments like this. 

I love the maternity pictures that my friend Rachel took when I was pregnant with Lydia and knew that I just wanted a couple to look back on with this new baby girl as well.. but with how busy our lives have been lately (particularly Brian's schedule with residency) I didn't know if we'd be able to grab any. I am SO grateful that we did! I love them!

Lately I've found myself trying to soak in all the moments that I can get with this girl. Her time as an only child and our only princess is about to expire. I have days where I have felt anxious in wondering if I'll be able to give both girls the attention they need and want when they are both here.. but then I feel the spirit whisper that we'll figure it out and it will all work out. All is well!

39 weeks and the clock is ticking down. I am amazed at how much our lives are about to change yet again in just a few days time. We're still trying to pick out a name and do a few more things on the house, but we are SO excited!!

Chicago Medical School Graduation 💗

TA DA!!!! Presenting Dr. Larson! After all the dreaming and doubting, the ups and the downs, Brian graduated.

We debated for a while on whether we wanted to fly back to Chicago for graduation.. Paying money for flights, taking the time to walk across a stage, finding a babysitter, a place to stay, etc... Is it worth it we asked ourselves..?

The answer to that was absolutely.

Being able to hear Brian's name as "Dr. Brian Larson" and watching him walk across that stage and be hooded made me speechless. And yes.. I cried. 

You can hear me in the video below...all emotional and who knows what. I just couldn't help shouting for all to hear, "That's my husband! That's him!" and of course crying.. I just allowed myself to give into all the emotions of the last 4 years of watching this man struggle and aspire. 

All those sleepless nights, nail-biting tests, hungry study hours, and lonely days couldn't damper my feelings and excitement. 

There he was.. walking across with the biggest smile on his face.

Yes. This was worth it.

All of it.

We are so grateful for all the tremendous support and love we have received throughout the years. I don't want to imagine what it would have been like without all our family, friends, and the Lord. I can't bring myself to even think about what life would have been like in that world.

We feel beyond blessed to be here. We've seen and felt the Lord's hand in our lives from day one. He has freely given us so many tender mercies and miracles along this journey. Family has come to visit us and take care of us, call just to chat because I'm lonely and pray for us in which we truly felt the prayers. Friends have stood by us in getting us through the days when we needed to relax or vent, adding some fun and excitement to those gray days and learning to lean on each other. We've been fed, clothed, sheltered, and loved.

Thank you... Words can't fully express how thankful we are.

To celebrate, we headed out on Lake Michigan to go sailing. It was perfect to just feel so free and uplifted, even with the dark cloud of residency threatening to hang over us in the next few weeks.

Chicago skyline is beautiful. The weather here in Illinois is pretty decent in the spring, summer, and fall. We've loved the trees and living by Lake Michigan which is pretty much an ocean. We'll miss the food, sights, and sounds. Simple things like fireflies and cicada bugs and all the squirrels (seriously.. like 20 in every tree and half of them black squirrels!). We'll miss being close to Six Flags and all the forest preserves. The museums, one of a kind houses (not cookie cutter like we are used to seeing), and all the farms where we can do our own fruit picking. Of course, above all.. we'll miss the people. Our neighbors, ward friends, the families I worked for and learned to love. We truly will miss it all. Chicago has been good to us and we learned to love it here.

 

So long Chicago. You will be greatly missed. Goodbye medical school.. I'll miss you only sorta. 

Match Day 2016

After much anticipation... We are moving to....

SALT LAKE CITY UTAH!!

It felt like the longest morning I can remember as we waited to head over to the school for the ceremony..

The school provided breakfast at 9 and we were allowed to open our envelopes at exactly 11 am. We headed to the school at 9:30 and ate and chatted with people in Brian's class and their families..

We then took a walk... to wait out the time until we received our envelopes.

There was no way that Lydia would sit still in one room for that long and to be honest.. we felt just as restless as her.

So we walked.. and talked.. and waited.. and finally the time came for us to make our way to the room where we'd receive our envelope.

The countdown began... 10, 9, 8, (Heart pounding) 7, 6, 5, 4 (Lydia was trying to eat the envelope and Brian looked up at me and said, "It's Utah.. I know it is") 3, 2,1...

Brian tore the envelope open. And there it was... Utah. And then the tears came and we all hugged as we cried.. Brian and I for excitement and happiness.. Lydia because everyone was screaming and cheering around us and it scared her.

We tried to film our happiness and had someone take a picture for us.. So if we look like we've been crying, it's because we did (and excuse my high pitched emotional voice).

We are going home!!!

After 4 wonderful years in Illinois, we get to go back to the land we love! It still feels too good to be true!

We went and found our good friend Stein (the only other LDS medical student in Brian's year and also his great friend) to see where he matched and it turns out that he matched in Utah as well! We felt so blessed! Out of all the spots available for Internal Medicine, 2 came from Chicago Medical school!

So our current plan is this...

Put in our 30 day notice at the end of March... pack up and move the last week of April back to Utah.. Stay with family until we find a place of our own.

Brian's start date is June 20 and so we have some time to play, look for a place to live, hopefully do a small celebratory trip, and just enjoy being in Utah and with family before he begins.

Ah! I just can't believe this is really happening!!!