Meet Isabelle

Isabelle Larson

born April 24, 2018

at the University of Utah Hospital

at 1:35 am

8 lbs

20 inches

3 days before due date

The Story:
   A little preface to the delivery is this- towards the end of pregnancy this baby's movements really started to slow down. This was a little concerning for my doctor at the time and she spoke with me about being induced. I was nervous about the idea of an induction, but after thinking, praying, and talking with Brian about it, we decided it was best. The date was scheduled for Monday April 23.

Monday April 23-I had been feeling light contractions through the night, but not closer than 10 minutes apart. I was told to call the hospital an hour before we were supposed to go in and when I did I was informed that there had been a few emergencies through the night and that they didn't have a room available for me and that I should call back around noon. This was honestly hard to hear-but almost a relief too because by now I was nervous and I didn't feel like my house was "clean enough" to bring a new baby home to. So I spent the morning deep cleaning the floors of my kitchen and family room.

By noon my contractions were still coming every 8-10 minutes but weren't painful. We called the hospital again and was told there still wasn't a room available so Brian and I went to Jersey Mikes' Subs (THE BEST) and watched Lord of the Rings on Netflix (it's a long movie and we needed the distraction ha). I even took a small nap. Finally around 4 pm I was told they had a room available.

The car ride was surreal. It just didn't feel like this was happening for real. My past two births have been much more dramatic and this felt so much more relaxed.

As we walked into the hospital I wanted to tell people around me walking by, "Do you know I'm here because I'm going to have a baby?"

I was checked in around 5 pm and we got ourselves set up in our room.

We kept giving each other goofy looks and strangely awkward giggles. It is just a crazy feeling-the moments before you know life is about to change. Brian kept joking that the baby needed to come either before or after the Jazz played the Thunder (and was grateful he had time to enjoy the whole game before she made her arrival ha).



Things got rolling pretty quickly. Due to the contractions I had been having I was already a 3 (which my last appointment 4 days before I had only been .5). My nurse predicted that had I not been induced that day I probably would have gone the next evening anyway with the consistency and rate I was progressing.

I was put on Pitocin and my dad came and visited with Brian as we waited. My blood pressure kept dropping which resulted in me being lightheaded and given extra fluids, but otherwise things were pretty chill.

At 9 pm I was given an epidural that only took to my right side and it wasn't very strong at all. It was probably the most uncomfortable I have been with an epidural and that is saying something because my epidural with Lydia only took to one side also. I could feel every contraction-they were just muted a little.

Around 10 pm my mom and sister Raquel came to the hospital. It was super nice to have them there and was a great distraction for the wait as well as pushing through each contraction.

Finally at midnight they checked me and I hadn't progressed much. I was really bummed but almost immediately after the nurse left the room, I  started feeling the contractions really hit hard and come closer together.

After another half hour the urge to push was becoming stronger and I told Brian to tell the nurse because I felt like things were about to get hopping.

And just like that I was at a 9.5.

My doctor was paged and soon the room began to fill with people. I was kind of surprised at the fast pace things started to move. 

People were pouring in the room and hustling about getting things all ready. The bed was lowered and lights were turned on and tools were laid out. It felt unreal once again. 

Doctor Ostler asked if Brian was cutting the cord and the OB Resident said, “No the mom is” And I was super hesitant. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to cut it because first it seemed totally weird and second I didn’t want to ruin my first moments with my baby by interrupting to cut the cord. That just seemed bizarre. But the resident was kind of pushy. She kept saying things like, “oh you’ll love it” And “just do it” and so I was like.. well.. okay?

Then it all started.

It took all of 2 contractions of pushing.. and at 1:35 am, I heard her. Her cry. 

And there she was. In my arms. Flailing her little arms and looking right at me.

I held her for a moment and just cried. 

My beautiful little love is here! Brian came to my side and cried with me. He put her hat on her as the nurses cleaned her up. We both just talked to her as she cried. It felt like heaven and angels were in the room with us and I believe they were. This little beauty was here. 

She has the same furrow her sisters had and those same big eyes. She was smaller than I had expected and had dark dark hair. Her fingers and toes were so so so long and skinny that they made me laugh.  Her head is perfectly round and her hair is so dark and long. I hope it never falls out. (But it probably will). Her ears have this little fold at the top and they are so tiny! She is perfect. So so perfect. 

I kept telling her that over and over as I held her little hand. “I’m your momma” I kept saying, “and I’m so happy you are here.”



I could see the umbilical cord still attached and the resident waiting to give me the scissors. They clamped the cord and handed them to me.

It was not quite the magical experience I think the resident wanted me to have ha. Instead it was kind of gross. It was like a super rubbery thick piece of licorice and I had to cut it in a couple snips.. but I guess I can cross off cutting an umbilical cord off a list somewhere ha.

But then she was “free” and I passed her to Brian to hold her. 

Watching Brian hold her is so special. He is one of those that can’t stop crying when the spirit is strong. And there he was, holding his new precious little girl. One that I think looks just like him. 

He brought her close up to his face and kissed her and then looked at me with tears down his cheeks. “It’s Isabelle!”

All I could mutter out was "We'll see." Because I still wasn't sure and wanted to go through my list of names. 

We passed her to my mom who had tears on her face and kept telling me how special it all was. She held her close and nuzzled her and my heart melted even more. 

And then it was Raquel’s turn who just kept that darling baby right up to her face and also shed some tears. How could we all not? This new little life, this perfect life-fresh from heaven is here in our arms. It does not get any better than this at all. This is eternity.


The nurses were soon hovering around to get her weight and length. 

7 lbs 15.5 oz and 20 inches long. Pretty much 8 lbs and pretty dang perfect.

The after-delivery was much smoother (though still a little crazy) than it had been with Adeline's delivery. My uterus wasn't contracting and I was loosing a lot of blood. But they were prepared. 

They gave me methergine and a few shots of something and kept me on pitocin for an extra 24 hours after delivery. It was all to help my uterus contract so that I wouldn’t bleed as much. But I still lost enough blood for it to be called postpartum hemorrhaging. They had to push on my belly every 45 minutes for the first day to measure the blood and make sure my uterus was contracting.

While moving rooms, Brian took the birth certificate papers and started to fill them out. I panicked because I hadn’t tried all the names on her yet. We had kind of narrowed it down to Samantha or Isabelle because those are what she looked the most like to the both of us. I could tell Brian was still set on Isabelle but for some reason I just couldn’t say yes 100% on it. 

The next thing I knew though, Brian was informing me that the birth certificate was complete and he had turned it in.

I was shocked! “Wait! What name did you put down?” and he just matter-of-factly said “Isabelle”

I wanted to react, but with how firm he was being on this I thought about how maybe the reason I couldn’t decide was because this baby was supposed to be named by her daddy. Brian was so sure that he had handed in the birth certificate. I didn’t get to look over it or anything! That was a little crazy, but at the same time, I knew that I trusted him. And I really do love the name Isabelle. 

And so.. my lovely baby girl became Isabelle Larson.

Lydia and Adeline came to the hospital the next morning to meet Isabelle.

Adeline just wanted to point out all the baby's body parts and Lydia wanted to hold her for maybe 30 seconds and was more concerned about why I was hooked up to so much stuff and couldn't move well.

It was a moment of excitement to be together but also chaos and a glimpse of what life with these three girls could be once we were home. But I loved it. Truly.

I thought my heart couldn’t be any more full, but I was wrong.

Here we were, all together as a family of 5. The girls climbed on the bed next to me and we all held and looked at the little miracle in my arms. 

Welcome to our home and heart little Isabelle. You are so loved.

The Name Dilemma

Can we talk names? Not what to name this baby.. but the whole concept of naming your child.

It is the second question I get asked after "How are you feeling?"

I wait a moment and then there it is, "So what name have you picked?"

When you tell people that you don't know what you are naming your child yet they don't believe you "Oh so you are keeping it a secret?" And when I say no, they say "Well you must have some ideas! What are they?"

People assume that you must have ideas because they themselves do.. and if they don't have ideas, they have opinions. I still remember plenty of eye-rolls and negative-sounding "Oh's?" when telling possible lists of names for my other kids.

I remember flying alone with Lydia from Chicago to Utah to visit family when she was 7 months old. I had several different people ask me what her name was during my flight or time in the airport. When I would respond "Lydia" I started noticing how people's reactions were genuinely pleasantly surprised. Every one of them mentioned how much they loved the name-and it felt sincere. I've been there when people have said, "Oh that's a nice name" or "Hmmm. How do you spell that?" or "say that again?" or "I've never heard that before..." to someone else's child when the parents have spoken their name.. all said nicely, but missing the sincerity.

Now.. not that I want to base my entire decision off what other people think or their reactions-just that I liked the feeling of other people liking my child's name too.

When naming your baby it is hard not to think of every personal reference from our lives.. the character from that movie.. the elementary friend who threw a book at your head, the coworker with the weird pen-clicking problem..

And the truth is that all of those people eventually melt away once there is a baby you love attached to that name.

Giving your child a name also means you get to try and figure out how other kids may twist them into mean nicknames. And even then, if your child makes it through school nickname-free, maybe you just so happened to pick the "most popular name of the year" and so your child's name is no longer "Ashley" but a morphing of the first name and last initial.. "Ashley K" because there are 7 of them (Ashley was a popular name of my generation).

This picture is from Baby Larson #1 Pregnancy Journal

When naming Lydia, Brian and I took a few names to the hospital but both had internally decided Lydia was what we liked. When she was born, Brian said, "Look! It's our Lydia!" and at that moment I couldn't think of any other name we had talked about to "try" and so she became Lydia.

With Adeline it was 100% different. Brian thought it would go the same as Lydia's had but it didn't. When Brian brought her to me after she was cleaned up he said, "It's little Isabelle" and I immediately knew that Isabelle was not her name. She didn't look like Isabelle. So she became Adeline.

Now the pressure is much different this time around and you think it would be easier since we have done it twice before.

One of William Shakespeare's famous quotes from Romeo and Juliet that has run through my mind a few times is, "“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Very often the first information we learn about a person is their name. And that first information can be so important to a good impression.

But now.. I have a 3-year-old that loves to ask people what their name is and then tell them hers back, "My name is Lydia Larson" she'll say. I signed her up for preschool in the Fall and I think that was when it really hit me just how important her name is. Not only do I need to love it.. so does she! This is the name that will learn to clearly write, the name she'll tell every new friend she ever makes. It will be cheered at dance recitals and soccer games, and scolded on late curfew nights. It is the name that will go on resumes and will be so much apart of her identity.

With all of these thoughts (and probably a million more that I could write down) I am left feeling a bit stumped.. and I'm second guessing every name that runs through my head. We are in the single digit week countdown now. That is almost 8 weeks left to compile a list..

I guess I'll continue to just look at these two beauties until I can figure a name for my next beauty. I'll just enjoy their blooming personalities with Adeline's curly hair and BIG brown eyes and new found love of balls (which we don't have because Lydia never played with balls) mixed with Lydia's straight straight straight blonde hair and blue eyes and love for dresses, purses and backpacks (she has all of the above in this picture).

Baby #3 Pregnancy Journal

I'm over halfway through and haven't posted Baby Girl #3's pregnancy journal yet. Journaling can feel so tedious at times but I am always grateful I write these thoughts and feelings down.

Both Lydia and Adeline's pregnancy journals can be found here.

These two pictures are pretty accurate of our lives lately. The top shows a tired husband who is just a bit stressed about his future career choices and current rotations. It shows an instant cheeser of a baby who isn't so baby anymore. At 16 months Adeline loves the camera and smiles at anything she thinks is a phone or camera. She is one happy child except for when food is around-she becomes very hangry and greedy.

Lydia is opposite in so many ways. Getting this child to eat is an adventure every day and she will RARELY look at the camera. In fact, when I was taking her New Year goal pictures, the way that I got her to smile was to have her "Little People Minnie and Mickey Mouse" kiss behind the camera. This girl has so much sass and is ALL GIRL and will constantly beg to wear dresses, make up, and have her fingernails painted.

And then there is me.. usually needing a shower and telling myself I'll take one while the girls nap and then laying down for a nap myself. I'm feeling the nesting vibe but tiredness overpowers the motivation and I keep hoping that as time gets closer I'll just do all I want done. In just 14 weeks there will be a new face in these photos and my heart is so full when I think of how different our lives will be. I often don't feel there is enough room in my heart to love another human as much as I love these people but I have said that before and then had my heart grow and overflow with love. I look forward to that happening again.

And then there were THREE girls

It is no secret that this pregnancy has been a night and day difference compared to my others. I'd even go as far as saying night/day and summer/winter different. With the first ones I was sick all the time once 7 weeks hit. Morning sickness meant ALL DAY sickness with throwing up and just feeling icky mixed right in.

So when 7 weeks hit for me with this one I expected it to be the same as the others. And it wasn't.

Yes I felt nauseous but not to the point of making friends with the toilet (Only 2 times so far which is AMAZING to me).

Mostly I just didn't want to eat anything sweet except for Junior Mints and I wanted all the meat. Salami especially. Throw some green olives on top and I was one happy mama.

So if the old wives tales were true then salty cravings meant boy right? And with my girls I had literally wanted all the sweet things-orange sherbet ice cream, airheads, applesauce, and anything candy.

And so.. I have thought for sure we were having a boy. I'd look up boy clothes and how I would do his room and how I'd put the girls together in one room. I'd be researching name ideas and blessing outfits and all that fun stuff. I kept calling the baby a boy as I felt "him" move and Brian would kindly remind me that it could be a girl.

Lydia has been telling me all along that the baby in mommy's tummy was a girl. I kept thinking maybe she was just saying that because she didn't understand that it could be a boy because all she really knew of was girls. 

But she was insistant. Even the morning of the ultrasound I tried to talk her out of it being a girl by explaining that it was time we had a baby brother. She again insisted that it was a girl.

So by the time I walked into the ultrasound I was seriously second-guessing all my thoughts.

The ultrasound tech asked if I wanted to know the gender and I said yes, but I expected her to wait til the end like my other ultrasounds had gone. But instead she told me first thing. 

She asked what I had at home and I said I had two girls and thought this one was a boy. And she simply said, "Looks like you'll be adding another girl to your home!"

I wasn't quite sure if I had heard right or seen correctly on the ultrasound. So I asked if she was sure and she told me that it was FOR SURE a girl emphasizing the "for sure."

I was so surprised. Not sad. Not happy. Surprised.

The rest of the ultrasound was SO fast. I was done in another 15 minutes which has never happened for me before. The baby is measuring right on her due date which was also surprising considering that her siblings were always ahead of due date.

Sooner than I had expected, I was out and walking to the car with a CD of the ultrasound, some pics, and an envelope for Brian to open later with the gender inside.

I got to my car and he called. He wanted to know now and couldn't wait. We tried to Facetime but he couldn't find service in the hospital he was at and so I sent him a picture as we chatted.

I wish I waited to be with him in person because his reaction was the most amazing ever. Pure excitement and love. This sweet man of mine shed a few tears and kept saying he was so blessed to have all these girls in his life.

Oh my heart!

I have had people think that I am disappointed because I thought it was a boy and it is another girl but I am not even close. I was the third girl in a row and so I just feel a special connection to this little one.

Since that day I just feel perfectly at peace. I love being able to say "She is kicking me" or telling the girls that they have a baby sister. I keep trying to imagine our lives with 3 girls running around and while it is hard to picture at times, I am truly excited.

Now excuse me while I go drizzle some capers over my salami. Yum! 

Round THREE

It was a lovely day in August.. well more like an eery day actually. Pretty sure the world will always remember it as the day of the Eclipse.. but I'll also remember it as the day I found out I was pregnant with my third child.

Now to back up to this moment, I had been bleeding every 1-2 weeks since ending nursing with Adeline back in the end of December of 2016. It had been kind of awful trying to figure out why and switching birth controls and all that fun "womanly stuff."

Brian and I finally decided after an unsuccessful (and painful) round of a new pill that we were going to go off birth control completely and let my body get back to normal for a month or so and then I could try again with a different pill. We felt good about the decision and planned for a new pill in September.

Well.. we waited.. and waited some more for my period to restart. I was going on 4 weeks of no bleeding which was really weird to me after months of having problems. I finally bucked up to take a pregnancy test.

Negative and truthfully I felt relieved because Adeline wasn't even 11 months yet.. but.. I still felt like I could be pregnant and so I wasn't completely convinced. 

2 weeks later. Still no period. Which leads me to August 21, 2017.. the day of the Solar Eclipse.

The girls and I had just gotten back from the park and viewing the Eclipse (which was amazing of course). I was feeding them lunch and went to the bathroom and just "happened" to decide I'd take another pregnancy test just because.

So I did.

And it was positive.

And I stared at it for about 5 minutes straight while faintly hearing Adeline crying for more food in the background. I then searched for another test.. I knew I had one somewhere.. and positive.

I couldn't believe it, and truthfully I didn't know how to react. I just wasn't prepared for this. Brian was on one of his hardest rotations of the year and it didn't end for another week. I was worried about telling him.. that it would stress him out.

Now please, don't get me wrong.. We WANT this baby. We always knew we would have more kids. I just had expected to wait at least another year so it was a really big shock at first. I just hadn't mentally prepared for it.

I could hear the girls asking for "more carrots" in the background and numbly got them food though I am not sure it was the food they were asking for. I then went and sat on my bed.. and cried.

I cried for my reaction. I was frustrated that I was crying at all. I cried for feeling scared. I cried because I knew I was already alone so much and thinking of doing 3 kids on my own overwhelmed me a bit. I cried because I knew so many people I love wait years and years to have children and here I was with a "surprise" and worried about offending those who would take my place in a heartbeat. The guilt crept in that I got to be pregnant when so many struggle. I cried mostly because I was just scared and nervous.

Thoughts like "Adeline isn't even a year yet, will she feel neglected? Have I given her enough time and attention?", "How will we afford a 3rd child right now?", "We'll need a bigger car, another car seat.. and a million other things.. how can we make that happen?", "We'll need to put the girls together in a bunk bed maybe.. but will Adeline be ready to move from her crib that early?" , "How will I grocery shop with 3 kids when it has been a nightmare with 2?" and a million more worries.

And then I read something that really helped me through all my emotions and fears.. It was a reminder of what I already knew but had needed a push to have a bit more faith and trust in my Father in Heaven. I ran across a talk by Dallin H Oaks that he gave in a devotional 15 years ago. His words were spoken as if directed at me now. The talk is called "Timing" and it fit so perfectly with what I needed to hear. 

He said the following, "Because of things over which we have no control, we cannot plan and bring to pass everything we desire in our lives. Many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome. Even our most righteous desires may elude us or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan.

How fundamentally different my life is than I had sought to plan! My professional life has changed. My personal life has changed. But the commitment I made to the Lord—to put Him first in my life and to be ready for whatever He would have me do—has carried me through these changes of eternal importance."

How profound are these words? And they definitely don't just apply to how I was feeling upon being pregnant. It applies to so many decisions we have made in our lives and will make. I had always believed I'd go on a mission and do many educational experiences overseas before marriage.. but then I met Brian and it was a true test of the commitment I had made to the Lord in following what He had in store for my life, and not what I had in store.

Truthfully I am much more grateful that He is in charge. How different my life would be had I stuck to my "own" plans. 

We had planned on a European trip in April which was how I told Brian.. He kept going on about the plans and I simply said, "What if have a baby in April instead?" He said that wouldn't happen and I said, "What if it did?" and he said hesitantly "Wait, are you serious?" and I just nodded.

His reaction was completely unexpected. He laughed. 

And laughed...

And laughed some more.

It went on like that for almost an hour.. and I quickly realized he was in shock. When he finally came back around it was night and day difference and he fell into the same worries and fears I had felt..

And thankfully it gave me the opportunity to share with him what I had read and felt, as well as my testimony of the Lord's timing. The peace the Lord had been sending but that I had blocked out with my fears came flooding in and Brian could feel it too.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: “The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best?"

Fast forward to now. Here I am, 17 weeks pregnant and feeling better than I did with my last pregnancies. We find out what we are having the first week of December.

Are we excited? Yes. Are we still nervous? Of course. But I truly believe that God knows what we can handle and knows this baby needs to be in our home soon. We truly are excited and I am grateful I can say that word with confidence. We are excited to be a family of 5.

Baby Larson #2 Pregnancy Journal

Baby #2's Pregnancy Journal is finished.

It's hard for me to close the book on this last pregnancy. Don't get me wrong-I am so happy to have Adeline here with us and I was ready to be done being pregnant. But I know I will miss the time when it was just me and her.

I love documenting my pregnancies and my thoughts along the way. (Lydia's pregnancy journal can be found here) I can't believe how much we have grown as a family, as a couple, and individually. 

I often felt that this pregnancy happened at the wrong time with all the stress and changes we made in our lives in just a few short months, but now looking back I couldn't be more wrong. This little girl needed to come into our family right now at this time. We needed her.

And we are so happy she is here.

We love this sweet Adeline!