Welcome 2017

Another year is behind us and what a wonderful and challenge filled year it was.

I have seen so many statuses and comments about how dreadful and terrible 2016 was and how they couldn't wait for it to be over. And to be honest, I felt bad for those people posting it. None of us are strangers to trials and frustrations, but I would hope that through whatever we face, we can find the joy and happiness and learn to focus on those.

2016 was not the easiest year of our lives. Adding another kid to our zoo also added stress, marriage was not the easiest by far, and adjusting to a new area has been a lot harder than we imagined. In fact, there was a time this year that I felt so completely overwhelmed and down that I decided to choose a family motto to focus on. And here it is: CHOOSE JOY

I wish I could tell you how many times having this hung in a high traffic area has helped me through this year. It reminded me to choose to be grateful for the year of 2016 and how we have all grown-and how I personally have grown.

And now it is that time of year again to choose goals to focus on for this new 2017 year. I loved that as I woke to a New Year, I woke to fresh snow on the ground, reminding me that it is time to start anew with a clean slate.

And as tradition, we chose our word goals for the new year.

At 15 months old Lydia's goal word was Explore. Throughout the year of 2016 Lydia did some majoring exploring. Her explorations brought us a lot of joy, and sometimes frustrations and tears.

Lydia explored boundaries and what it means to "push mom's buttons"
Lydia explored language and her vocabulary has exploded.
She explored what it is like to play hard during the day but be grateful for and even ask for "nigh nigh" each evening.
Lydia explored the art of play. This has been one of the most fun to experience and see develop. She is beginning to pretend play and talks with her toys.
Lydia explored what it means to be a sister and she takes the role borderline too lovingly.
She explored different sports and may have been a fish in another life with how much she loves swimming.
Lydia explored her testimony and planted a little seed. She breaks out in prayer randomly throughout the day "Heavenly Father Day" is how she starts out and it is a heart melter. So if you hear it, grab a tissue.
Lydia explored toys and has found which ones she loves most (She's big into magnets, blocks, and fisher-price little people).
Lydia explored characters from movies and books and while she still loves Winnie the Pooh, her adoration for Finding Nemo and Mickey Mouse may be even stronger.
She explored her independence as she is now potty trained (still loving to "blow kisses" to her potty as it goes down the toilet). [insert embarrassed emoji here]
Lydia explored some major gross motor skills such as jumping and riding a tricycle
She explored the snow and actually enjoyed playing in it this year which has been perfect with our awesome hill in our yard.
She explored her love for animals more in depth and even rode a pony.
Her exploration set no limits and fears and she has grown SO much!

Her new word for 2017 is CREATE

Lydia has so much energy and joy for life that it is my hope that this next year she can channel it to CREATE joy, growth and knowledge.

Adeline's word for 2017 is BLOOM

(It is weird to think she wasn't quite with us last year yet (I was pregnant with her). It just feels like she has always been with us!)

Our hope for Addie this year is that as she grows, she will BLOOM. She is our little bud of joy and we look forward to watching her learn and see her personality and happiness sprout.

I'm going to quote myself from last year on what I hoped to achieve this year with the word Embrace, "My new word for 2016 is Embrace. I want to embrace this new year and all the changes and experiences that are in store for me and my little family. Embrace is such a warming action word. It involves attitude and feeling, enthusiasm, and support. I think it will be just the word I need for this year."

When I chose this word, I knew that I was only 4 weeks pregnant and that it was a bit sooner than I had planned. Adeline's due date landed right around the beginning of residency and I was scared that it was going to be such a terrible time to have a baby. I also knew that with graduation and residency approaching that I needed to embrace all the changes, even if that meant we didn't end up where we wanted.

-I embraced my pregnancy and the struggles that came with it. I embraced the new changes in my body for being a vessel for another human being and that meant embracing new stretch marks and a rising number on a scale that meant I was being blessed with another sweet spirit.
-I embraced the move from Illinois to Utah with open arms. I was excited for the new chapter but had many reservations about what Utah had in store for us. 
-I embraced the task of making our new 1950s house a home and worked hard to whip it into shape and make it livable. 
-I embraced residency.. and yet, I am still learning to embrace it. It is hard and it really stinks sometimes. I have watched Brian be emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted all at the same exact time and felt helpless and yet I embraced this new change and strived to support him and be enthusiastic through the trials.
-I embraced motherhood to two little girls and the demands of my new role. I embraced this calling and learned (and am still learning) how these two should come before myself and my desires.
-I am learning to embrace my new body after having 2 girls and strive to get healthy and strong.
-I have embraced a stronger sense of who I am as a daughter of God and where I want to go.
-I have embraced a deeper understanding of the gospel and our Savior's atonement. And am realizing I have more growth and knowledge to embrace still.

With all that I have embraced this year, the biggest is that I have embraced a new me. I am not the same Anna from a year ago. I'm grateful to look at who I have become this last year and be thankful for the experiences I have embraced to get me here.

This next year of 2017 my goal word will be BECOME.

The definition of BECOME is "begin to be." My hope is to begin to be happier, stronger, healthier, a better disciple of Christ, a more loving wife, a kinder teacher and mother, more teachable and humble, and more willing to serve and trust in the Lord. 

Brian choose the word better to focus on this last year.


This was an excellent word to summarize his goals since it was filled with so much change. Brian is better because of it all and because he held firm to faith that it was all going to work out if he continued to try and be better and not give up.

Brian is a better student, a better father, a better friend, and a better follower of Christ.

His abilities and skills are better and even his cooking is getting better (ha).

This year he has become a better version of himself. 

For 2017, Brian has chosen the word REACH.

He spoke about his fears of complacency and how he wants to push himself to work hard and get out of his comfort zone. Sometimes all it takes is is effort to reach and aim higher to improve yourself. 

Brian hopes to reach more knowledge in his fields of study and in his work. He hopes to reach to have more understanding of his patients and how best to help them. 

Thank you 2016 for a wonderful and growing year! We are excited for 2017 and all that is in store for us!

Christmas Through my 2 year-old's Eyes

I tried to finish up some last minute Christmas shopping today.

I thought I could make it quick but that doesn't often happen. I was kind of grumbling about how I had, had to return to a store twice because I'd been charged for two items I didn't purchase and then returned to get it sorted out which is always more of a hassle especially with two tired babies.

I had the carseat in one hand and was holding Lydia's hand with my other as we walked into one last store. I found myself half dragging Lydia and thinking "Just the one item.. that's it. Then we'll be home" and then to my dismay and frustration, Lydia let go of my hand and started running and yelling across the store "Jesus! Baby Jesus!"

I found myself chasing her down as she ran up to a life-sized nativity scene and knelt down at the porcelain bale of hay that held a delicate baby Jesus.

At first I tried to pull her away and "go get that item" but something caused me to just stop my hurry.. and watch.

I watched as Lydia touched his face and gave him a kiss right on his cheek and whispered in the sweetest voice "mine baby Jesus."

It made me start to wonder.. What is Christmas through my 2 year-old's eyes? She gets taken around from store to store, party to party, sees an old man in red that always seems to be holding kids and candy canes.. What in the world is she thinking?

For one thing.. I think that looking at Christmas through the eyes of a child makes Christmas a whole lot simpler.

To a child, Christmas is magical and Christmas is simple.

Finding scenes like this after playtime is a heart melter

They see pretty lights everywhere they go, and trees decorated in pretty colors. And though Lydia doesn't understand why she put "balls" on the tree and why they need to stay there and not be played with.. she does understand that it is beautiful.





Lately she has gotten really into "making things" for us and baby Adeline. She will color a picture and say "SEE!?" and then color some more and give it to us. I don't know if it is that we are trying to instill in her the art of sharing or what.. either way, I love it and it makes me smile as I watch her excitement to see our excitement.

She doesn't care how much a gift costs or what it looks like. And often she would much rather play with the bow on top anyway.

But it is that feeling of giving someone something that just warms a person up. And I know that everyone has different love languages, but no matter what your love language is, it just feels warm and fuzzy when you give someone you care about something and you wait to see their reaction.

A child lives in the moment. They aren't thinking about the next activity or what else needs to get done. They take in everything that is around them and I think that is where a lot of the magical feelings come from.

So it makes sense to me that as I am dragging this little girl through store after store, walking in and seeing something that is familiar is exciting. And I am reminded that even the smallest things are magical but we may often be in too big of a hurry to notice them.

Christmas really is just a whole lot simpler than we adults make it out to be.

Really though, the simplicity of Christ's birth is all in the simple and humble stable.. It's the simple act of love that changed the whole world.

I think it's important that through the hustle and bustle of our daily lives mixed with the busyness of the season that we take a moment and appreciate the simplicity of it all.

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.

We put lights up on our house which we have never had the opportunity to do before. What seemed like such a small thing to do has brought me such joy as I drive up and see our house.

Lydia loves to point out all the lights in the neighborhoods and especially if someone displays a star. We went walking around Farmington Station last week to see Santa and every lamppost had a wreath and bow attached. Lydia was so excited and kept calling them "Minnie's hats" which had us chuckling even from that simple thought.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Lydia's visit with Santa. She's never really had stranger danger so I just wasn't sure how she would respond. If you ask Lydia what Santa says she'll respond "Ho, Ho". The Santa at Farmington Station wasn't super friendly which I was pretty disappointed about. He just wasn't great with toddlers who can't really answer the question of what they want for Christmas.

Lydia just sat on his lap very shyly. Her face didn't move and nor did her body. She just held on to that candy cane and didn't want to leave Santa when it was time to hop down. As we walked away she kept repeating "ho ho" over and over.

We have a whole lot of this going on... Brian's rotation for residency has been in the ER this month. It has put his hours all over the place with many switching from night shifts to days and lots of exhaustion, but it has been nice to have him home during the day when he gets the chance and be around these darling little ladies.

And while Lydia has probably wondered why there are so many goodies in the house all of the sudden, I doubt she has cared as we all have indulged in a few delicious baking frenzies for #LIGHTtheWORLD that the church has encouraged. I have loved to get on social media and see what others are doing to be more Christlike and keep him in Christmas. I know I have felt closer to him this season by refocusing each day on His life and example.

When the snow came, I was a lot more excited about building snowmen than Lydia was. She was up for it until Mom thought it would be cool to make a family of snowmen.. You can see how well that turned out. Ever read the book "Snowmen at Night?" If not.. You should. I think our snowmen must have been sledding on the great hills by our house or something.

One of Lydia's favorite things to do is to bring the Christmas light right up to her eye.. particularly the pink lights. Watching her joy with all the wonders of this season has been one of my favorite parts of this month.

   I think right in the middle of our plans and busyness, we are often given small reminders to bring us to remembrance of what is most important. My sweet father-in-law had a heart attack this last week and had double bypass surgery just a few days ago. 

   He is doing remarkably well and we know it is because of the faith and prayers that have surrounded him and my mother-in-law at this time. 

   With Christmas less than a week away, it really put into perspective our priorities. While gifts, lights, baking treats, decorations, Santa, etc are exciting and may seem important at the time-what is most important are our friends and family and our Savior Jesus Christ. How blessed we are to celebrate him this time of year. 

       When we took the kids to visit Craig in the hospital, Lydia kept saying "Grapa owie" over and over. She wanted him to hold her, but didn't understand all the cords and tubes. We made a sign for him to hang in his room that had a picture of all his kids and grandkids holding a letter that spelled out "WE LOVE GRANDPA LARSON!" We just love this man so much. How happy we are to be blessed by such a wonderful man. Give an extra squeeze to your loved ones and an extra kiss to your kiddos. It's worth it. 

May we all count our blessings this Christmas season and strive to embrace the simplicity of the season. As we hold our dear ones near and open our eyes to see from the eyes of a child may it bring a little more faith and happiness as 2016 comes to a close.

Good Mom Moments

The subject of "mom-guilt" has been on my mind a lot lately. It could do with my battle with breastfeeding that leaves it fresh in my mind, but it also could be the tendency many of us have to be really hard on ourselves.

We often think that because we are a mom we should be able to do everything and when we fall short we think there is something wrong with us.

Even as I write this my mind is swirling with all the things I did wrong today and the things I didn't get done.

I could write lists of incidents like when I put Lydia in time out for sticking her finger in my chapstick tube and smearing it on her toys but then realizing that she was simply trying to put ointment on their "boo-boos" like we did to hers when she scraped her knee. And the mom guilt starts to seep in.. "Geez Anna, she was just being caring to others."  

Or when I was working out this morning and trying to beat my current planking record and Lydia came and climbed on me and I couldn't hold the weight and crumbled. My first response was a "Lydia no!" And then the mom guilt crept in.. "She was only trying to play with me" And it's a cycle over and over..

We can always be more organized or more cheerful or more clean or more on top of things. No one expects us to be perfect but ourselves.

So.. I'm not going to focus on my list of "bad monster mom moments" and instead here is my list of ways that I have been a good mom lately.

• I bundled the girls up and took them on a short walk before bed to look at the Christmas lights in my neighborhood
• I let Lydia stay up past bedtime because we were enjoying reading her pop-up books
• Lydia got to watch an extra show as I cleaned the kitchen.
• I made pancakes for breakfast
• I danced around the family room with both girls in my arms to "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" 3 times
• I have a cinnamon apple candle burning and my house smells delicious
• We finger-painted pictures and thankful trees
• I got around to hanging some pictures on the walls
• I found some new names on family search to take to the temple
• I got up with each girl twice last night for a total of 6 interrupted hours of sleep
• I did laundry after being a week behind
• I wrote in my journal of special moments with the girls and the funny things Lydia has been saying lately
• I took a bath with Lydia and we played til the water got cold
• I pulled Adeline in bed with me and took a nap with her
• I had tickle and kissing wars with both girls until Adeline had a blow out all over her blanket

Writing that list started out really hard. I sat for a good 10 minutes just staring at my hands or at the big pine tree in my backyard. But toward the end I kind of got excited to write down some of the ways I have been a good mom.

I'm not all bad I guess. 

And neither are any of the women in my life who allow love to be the underlying reason for their actions. 

I think we should all take a step back every now and then and write down the things we are doing right and not focus so much on the wrong.

And some exciting news? Adeline is 3 months and is SUCH a happy girl. I honestly was worried she would be a harder baby due to her acid reflux but man was I wrong. 

Maybe it's because she is the second child and it forces her to be chill because she can't have all the attention or maybe it's because Lydia is there to watch and entertain her. Either way, she is happy to sit in her swing or in our arms and just watch with those big gray eyes (thinking they'll be hazel).

Adeline sleeps 12-14 hours at night with 2 feedings in there somewhere. She still sounds like a little piggy when she breathes and eats and I find myself speaking to her through snorts back. When she lies on her back she will kick her legs to scoot herself around and will get stuck in super awkward places. She is 14 lbs and is my little stiff chunk because she has the best thigh rolls and she still stiffens her body and planks it everywhere. 

Another good mom moment? I love these journals. I know I've said it before, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to look back on all these and for my girls to have them as they grow and see what life was like in their first year of life and how much they are loved.

I guess I just need to give myself a break. We are are worst critic right? 

Take a moment to tell yourself something YOU are good at and smile about it. 

Battling Breastfeeding.. again

How do I even begin to write down how I have been feeling lately?

I could write down lost or failure or quitter or maybe I should just add them all together and that would sum it up..

Or maybe a short story:

Once upon a time there was a mom who thought she had it all together. With her first baby she produced milk galore in the first 5 months and she felt like a champion.. and then her baby got thrush which started the 2 month battle of passing it back and forth until her milk dried up and she had to let go of her list of expectations of what it meant to be a "good" mom. Just because she couldn't breastfeed anymore didn't mean she loved her baby less.

But then 2 years passed and she forgot about the lessons she had learned the hard way and baby #2 came.

She had every intention to breastfeed and make it longer than she had with her first. But something was different this time and it just wasn't as easy as she had thought it would be the second time around.

Instead the battle resumed in full force.

And here I am again.. currently trying to let go of my list of what it means to be a "good" mom. This list always seems to weave itself in my head whether I want it to or not. I find myself adding things to the list as I read articles online or scan Pinterest or compare myself to my fellow moms through Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes I catch myself doing this and stomp it out.. other times. I let it get to me.

Near the top of that list is breastfeeding.. That boat set and sailed off with Lydia at 7 months but I was determined to make it to at least 6 months this time, if not beat Lydia's feeding record. Make it at least until 6 months.. Like biting into a piece of cake, right?

Nope. More like biting into a rock. Ouch.

So my new story is this---Due to my postpartum hemorrhaging it took longer for my milk to come in and when it did, I just never felt full.

I remember when my milk came in with Lydia.. All the sudden I was full and I was going to fall over because my chest felt so heavy. I had a large milk supply and was able to save months worth.

I expected a similar feeling with my second baby but that didn't happen. I never "felt" my milk come in. I just kept feeding her and then as she started to drink longer I thought, "Well, I guess my milk came in finally." And life went on.

But it got harder. Adeline never had as strong of a latch as Lydia. I definitely had to work for it, but when she did.. she would latch firm and wanted more and more. I just never felt like I had much milk and so I felt like I was just constantly feeding Adeline. I felt like I stayed in the same place all day.. And nights were even worse.. She just wanted to eat and eat and eat! I even tried the co-sleeping and feeding thing just so I could catch a little bit of sleep.

When I talked to the doctor about it he told me that as long as Adeline was gaining weight then I should just keep doing what I was doing.

This response frustrated me because I knew that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing.. how many episodes of Care Bears or Curious George could Lydia watch before I was considered a "bad mom" on my list? To be honest.. she'd already watched too much as I tried to figure this feeding round 2 out. It was the only way that I could focus on Adeline and try and get her to latch and not have Lydia running around trying to hold or jump on the baby or feed her goldfish crackers.

I was so focused on Adeline's latch and trying to feed her that I didn't notice the cracked and dry nipples and the pain that started to intensify. I was focused on how Adeline would cry before, during, and after feedings and her latch was getting worse. Brian finally was the one to point out we had another problem. Thrush.

Nooooooooo!!! [insert loud groan here]

The dreaded thrush was back... even after trying to avoid it in all the ways I could think of and read about.

And we were back at the Doctor's office where I told him that I was losing my milk and needed something to work the first time. I didn't want another 2 month battle with this.

He told me we had to try Nystatin first because even if it didn't work with Lydia it might with Adeline. I left the office feeling sick but determined to make this work. I couldn't lose my milk...

But now after 2 weeks since that appointment and having done the 10 days of Nystatin diligently and trying my hardest to make sure it was working.. thrush has not disappeared.

But my milk has.

And it's consuming me. My every waking moment is spent in "How can I save my milk?" and "What more can I do?" and the fear that my milk is drying up completely.

Because it already is. My right side is completely empty. There is nothing left.

Right now I am getting away with a night feeding and a day feeding.. and as much "snacks" as I can get in with supplementing after.

Even as I write that my eyes fill with tears because it feels like such an ultimatum. If I let that last feeding dry up that's it.. that is the end. Addie will never have this again from me.

I know that breastmilk is not everything. I know that this is not life and death. And how grateful I am to live where I can go to the store and buy formula.

But I did have high hopes and when they come crashing down it hurts.

In the hospital when I gave birth to Adeline, I asked for a binky for Adeline to suck on and I got a big mouthful from some of the nurses saying how they promote "breast is best" and having a binky that soon wasn't protocol. That's how the rest of my hospital stay was.. I honestly felt like I was being congratulated for breastfeeding my baby and that the 2 oz bottle of formula my baby was fed while I was recovering from the birth was awful of me to make them give her. "How could I have done that?" they all seemed to say.

I left feeling even more determined to breastfeed and not let myself fail.

So when things went downhill.. those feelings of failure have engulfed me a bit. Those things that were repeated over and over and over keep coming back to me as I struggle. "Breastmilk is the best thing for your baby," "drink more water!" "nipple stimulation" "keep up on your vitamins" "Fenugreek" and "offer both sides" and lots and lots of oatmeal, salmon, spinach and carrots.

The worst thing when your supply is low is to supplement with formula.. but my baby was not getting enough and I was honestly sitting in the same spot all day trying to nurse her.. which is practically impossible with a toddler. Lydia watched TV all day long on those days in the beginning and that only made me feel like a worse mom.

And so after crying to my husband on far too many occasions.. I called my mom.

It is so true that you learn to appreciate your parents more and more the older you get. My mom is a wise woman and is often inspired to say just what I needed to hear.

She told me that breastfeeding does not mean I am a better mom and nor does formula feeding. It isn't a test of motherhood and I shouldn't feel guilty for nourishing my child with formula.

Sometimes there are factors outside of your control no matter how motivated or how hard you try.

I have done my best and that is enough. She said if I want a stronger bond with my baby then feed her the bottle by holding her and not propping it up on something. I should stop what I'm doing to do so.. just like I would have had to do if I were breastfeeding. I should look my baby in the eyes and chat to her like I do when I breastfeed. And turn off the distractions like the tv and phone so I can give her my whole attention.

I am not lost. I am not a failure. And I didn't quit. I need to kick those feelings out. These are just Satan's lies to get me to doubt myself and my abilities.

Even with my few feedings my current goal is to make it to 3 months and if I make it there then I might aim for the end of the year. But I can't let myself be angry if it doesn't work out.

I truly am grateful for record keeping. Seriously.. reflecting back on life lessons help me so much in learning today's lessons.

I wrote this journal entry of my first breastfeeding battle and the 4 things that we all should remember with formula vs breastfeeding. To summarize my own thoughts in two sentences: Don't judge others because the way you feed your baby is your business. Nurturing is more than milk and you know what is best for your baby.

I gotta kick my "perfect mom list" away and focus more on loving my children deeply. I need to base my decisions on love and not so much on being perfect.

It's okay to feel sad that things haven't worked out how I wanted them to but I also need to learn to accept that I am still a good mom who loves her baby and just wants what is best for the both of us.

Adeline Baby Journal

This child is growing like dandelions on a windy day in my yard.. If I were to post a picture of my yard this analogy would be complete. 

Life with 2 kiddos has been challenging but so heart warming and special. One of my worries about having another child was the fear if I would love her enough. My heart was already so full of love for Brian and for Lydia.. could it expand any more for another human and hold as much love as I already felt?

The answer to that is yes. My "Grinch" heart has grown in size and my love for this new darling spirit is unfathomable. Some people are not "newborn" people and enjoy kids the very most when they are a little older like sitting up or talking or the wild getting-into-everything stage. Having a newborn again has made me realize that I may just be a newborn person. I love how little they are and how they snuggle up next to you. I love to work to get a smile out and I love LOVE the smell of new babies. Though getting up at nights is tough, man it is holding that baby worth it. 

I just love this little girl so much. And I love these two little girls so much.. And I love their love for each other.

Kids come with their own personalities.. that is for sure. While Lydia has always been a wild child going 100 miles per hour.. Adeline is much more content. Lydia was not a snuggle bug at all and just wanted to be on the go.. and Adeline just wants to be held ALL THE TIME.

One thing I really do love about her growing is having this personality of hers poke through even more!

To cut Addie's hair wasn't a debate like I had, had with Lydia. My kids loose their hair around the time the baby acne hits and they are left with the old man half-bald look. I waited til 3 or so months to finally buzz Lydia. This time I just did it. Lydia's had grown in thicker and much more even and already I can tell the same for Adeline.

But this little ball of fluff is so soft.. and that is what it feels like.. like a really soft feather and is extremely fine.

Lydia's favorite thing to do right now is have the baby on her back. It sure makes for a cute picture. They are such beauties and boy do they look alike! Can you tell they are sisters?!

I do get the question pretty often of "do I think Lydia and Adeline look alike" and my answer is yes! They look an awful lot like me but have their daddy's eyes. Sometimes as I am feeding Addie I'll look down and feel like I'm looking at a baby picture of myself. Totally a weird feeling to have little minis!

Adeline is very strong for her age.. Lydia was too and started rolling at only a month old, but Addie beats her in her endurance. It may just be that Addie's acid reflux causes her to be stiff all the time, but she is always trying to stand and has been able to hold her head up since day one.

Lydia continues to love pretty hard on Adeline. I have started to wonder if she'll ever get bored of her sister because there is no sign of that happening anytime soon.

Here is the start of Adeline's baby journal.. I love doing these and seeing how much they change and grow. I think all too often that I'll totally be able to remember the little things she does at different ages, but I know that isn't true. Already I try to remember what age Lydia started doing what.. for example "cooing" and I have to go back and find where I wrote it down. I am so grateful for journals and records and need to do better at writing it all down so I can remember these precious moments!

This is to show Adeline's eyes.. I don't think she's going to be a blue-eyed girl! Her eyes and coloring are much darker. Right now her big eyes are leaning toward hazel like Brian's.

Adeline at 2 months is currently 12 lbs which puts her around 70% percentile for height and she is 23 inches which is 96th percentile for height. I have really tall babies (Lydia was also this way).

One of my favorite things about Adeline is when she smiles she gets so excited that she throws her arms up and her tongue instantly covers her smile... and her eyes get these little wrinkles in the corners like her daddy's...

I also love how much she loves baths. I remember wanting Lydia to love them so bad but she never did and still struggles at times with wanting to take them (Thank goodness for bubbles and bath crayons.. they are the best at helping her want to take them).

Adeline can sit in a bath until it is no longer even warm or lukewarm and she cries when I take her out.

It feels like we have always had this little pug in our lives. (Yes... her nickname is pug due to her constant snorting and snoring). It seems like we just woke up and she was in our lives and it just felt so natural that we never questioned it.

I like it that way.

Marriage Journal Update

It's been a while since I've posted the update of our marriage journal. Along with the pregnancy, and baby journals, I've loved making these along the way.

I'm a big believer in journals. Even though I am far from perfect about writing in mine, I like to find creative ways to document our lives from big to small. This is part of why I blog.

President Henry B Eyring gave a talk years ago that has always hit home with me. The talk is titled "O Remember, Remember" and in it he tells of a story where he returns home late one evening to find his father-in-law rushing out the door after helping his family and hears in his mind very clearly the words, "I'm not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down."

He goes on to explain that we are to make a record (a journal of some sort) for our children to read and see how Heavenly Father blesses each and every one of our lives daily. Since this talk given 9 years ago now I have tried harder to keep a record of our lives and our blessings.

I kept a pregnancy journal for both Lydia and Adeline. And a baby journal for Lydia and have started Adeline's. Having one for our marriage is special to me as well, especially as we look back to see how much we have changed and matured!

 

I'm not one to sugarcoat my life.. and truth be told marriage is hard... amazing and worth it, but hard. Year 5 has been a rough year with so many changes and with residency kicking us in the face but I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am to have memories to reflect on as well as a journal of all of the great moments to drown out the hard ones of this year. I'm grateful. 

And that feeling of gratitude is what I'm going to choose to focus on.