Friday, March 18, 2016

Match Day 2016

After much anticipation... We are moving to....


It felt like the longest morning I can remember as we waited to head over to the school for the ceremony..

The school provided breakfast at 9 and we were allowed to open our envelopes at exactly 11 am. We headed to the school at 9:30 and ate and chatted with people in Brian's class and their families..

We then took a walk... to wait out the time until we received our envelopes.

There was no way that Lydia would sit still in one room for that long and to be honest.. we felt just as restless as her.

So we walked.. and talked.. and waited.. and finally the time came for us to make our way to the room where we'd receive our envelope.

The countdown began... 10, 9, 8, (Heart pounding) 7, 6, 5, 4 (Lydia was trying to eat the envelope and Brian looked up at me and said, "It's Utah.. I know it is") 3, 2,1...

Brian tore the envelope open. And there it was... Utah. And then the tears came and we all hugged as we cried.. Brian and I for excitement and happiness.. Lydia because everyone was screaming and cheering around us and it scared her.

We tried to film our happiness and had someone take a picture for us.. So if we look like we've been crying, it's because we did (and excuse my high pitched emotional voice).

We are going home!!!

After 4 wonderful years in Illinois, we get to go back to the land we love! It still feels too good to be true!

We went and found our good friend Stein (the only other LDS medical student in Brian's year and also his great friend) to see where he matched and it turns out that he matched in Utah as well! We felt so blessed! Out of all the spots available for Internal Medicine, 2 came from Chicago Medical school!

So our current plan is this...

Put in our 30 day notice at the end of March... pack up and move the last week of April back to Utah.. Stay with family until we find a place of our own.

Brian's start date is June 20 and so we have some time to play, look for a place to live, hopefully do a small celebratory trip, and just enjoy being in Utah and with family before he begins.

Ah! I just can't believe this is really happening!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Match Day: Only a day away!!

Fiddler on the Roof has been in my head all week long.. It plays over and over. "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch..."

Tomorrow is the day.

Most M4s across the nation will all receive their envelope in which their next 3-6 years of life depends. And at the exact same time nation-wide... the envelopes will open and futures will be unfolded.

It sounds a lot like a mission call to me.. and in some ways, medical school has been for us. I always wanted to serve a mission and moving to Chicago gave me many more missionary opportunities than I thought was possible. This will be our next mission!

The ceremony leading up to opening the envelope will probably be like a small episode of church while we try to confine Lydia and keep her quiet and still (it's during naptime).. but we are going.. ALL of us.

Excited, nervous, anxious, fidgety, restless... eager? Jittery? Wired?  You name it.. I'm feeling it.

We already found out we matched on Monday which was a bit of a relief to know that Brian wouldn't have to do what they call the SOAP (Supplemental Offer and Acceptance Program) which is where those who didn't match scramble for a residency program.

Brian received the following email on Monday..

We are matched! And since have been counting down the days and hours until tomorrow at 11 am Chicago time.. (well really we've been counting days for months... but hourly is new haha)

We are ready for any of the choices. We have prayed long and hard that we go where we are needed and we will bloom wherever we are planted.

And now, switching from Fiddler on the Roof and singing in the wise words of Annie, "The Sun will come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow! Come what may! Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow You're only a day away!"

Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's day from this darling blue-eyed girl in green! Come what may!

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Baby #2

It's happening... again! We are getting ready for Baby Larson #2! 

Baby is due to join our family September 4, 2016. We are getting more and more excited as the days pass by helping it feel a bit more real.

For some strange reason, all 3 times I have been pregnant, I have known right away.. Brian tells me all the time that it is pretty impossible for me to know so soon, but for whatever reason, I feel different almost immediately. Who knows if this strange feeling will continue for all my kids, but every pregnancy thus far has felt the same.. like my body is no longer just mine.

Waiting for the double lines for 2 weeks to confirm what I already know feels like the longest part of pregnancy haha.. Well at the time it does, the next longest part of pregnancy is waiting for the magical week 14, which for whatever reason is my light switch that turns off the all-day sickness that has me making friends with the toilet and enemies with all things food.

I took the test on Christmas and waited to tell Brian until New Year's Eve. Even though I had felt pregnant for the 2 weeks already, I still felt shocked to be pregnant again. Brian was even more shocked.. he thought I was kidding with him because technically we had decided to wait a few months before trying.. but if there is one thing I have learned through my life-it's that the Lord likes to test me by helping me to trust in his timing, and not my own. 

And so.. our next September baby journey started.

I gained weight very quickly in the beginning with this one, like I did with my miscarriage and I felt very crampy as well. This made me very nervous and I worried that I would miscarry this baby as well. Around week 8 I started bleeding and after a few days my doctor ordered a stat ultrasound to see if I had miscarried.

I think I cried the whole way to the hospital and tried to hold myself together once there. Since it was a stat ultrasound, the technician wasn't allowed to tell us much. After 20 minutes or so of her moving the probe across my belly and taking pictures, I asked the question my heart had been crying out for the past few weeks-"Is there a baby?"

The ultrasound technician sighed and said she was sorry but she couldn't disclose anything. 

I think my fears showed on my face so she pointed to the screen and said, "Do you see that flicker right there? Can you guess what that is?" 

Brian instantly held my hand and said, "Anna, that's the heart. That's our baby right there.."

My heart soared.. There was my baby! All the sudden peace poured into my body.. peace that the Lord had been giving me but I had shut out because of my fears. 

The rest of the appointment went smoothly. We had to meet with the doctor afterwards so he could give us the news in which we were told that everything looked great and they didn't have a reason for the bleeding but that I was to go into the doctor later that week and the next to make sure.

In the next week, everything became more normal, the bleeding stopped and the all-day sickness set in and our baby is growing wonderfully. We feel very blessed.

With me feeling so crappy lately, I've let the house go to shambles... thankfully I have the best cleaning crew I could have asked for. They've been super helpful in holding down this fort!

Lydia's new thing is making this face whenever I get the camera out. It's her instant cheeser and it cracks me up. She is our little diva and we love her crazy personality. Besides her books, her other favorite toy right now is her baby doll. She pushes the doll around in the stroller each day and carries her baby around with her. It has helped me to know she won't have too much of a problem adjusting to a new little human around here in a few months.

Even though we've heard the heart beat and seen the ultrasound, this time around feels almost more unreal than with Lydia's pregnancy. And to be honest, I think I am more nervous than before.. because this time when I look at my little girl running around, I know what I could lose more than ever.

My miscarriage was a sadness for the loss of what could have been and the child I didn't get to know. After having Lydia and knowing what it is like to her-my child physically in my arms and love them so much your heart could burst, I fear for losing another baby now that I know what that feels like.

But besides trusting in His timing, the Lord also is helping me learn to have more faith. Each time I have a fear or worry, I say a silent prayer and I have been blessed with peace and comfort almost instantly. I know that whatevesr happens we will not be alone and we will be comforted.

At 14 weeks, I am showing a lot more than I was with Lydia. I feel like I fit into my jeans for weeks and weeks and even then used an elastic around the button to keep using them. This time I don't even want to keep wearing them.. My pants have consisted of mostly stretchy leggings or yoga pants. 

Since we move soon and I have to pack anyway, I've just been putting away pretty much anything in my closet that doesn't fit or won't in the next couple months.. and my closet is super bare now! Finding something comfortable and that fits is my daily challenge ha.

We are excited, hopefully through sharing my thoughts and fears I haven't lost anyone to us thinking or feeling otherwise. We feel truly blessed to be have our growing family. I am learning to replace my fears with faith and be more excited with each passing day.