SEVEN YEARS

I was reminiscing through wedding pictures and stopped at this one. Here we are, just little babies at 19 and 22 years old, lost in our own little world that we had just started. Unsure of what the future might hold or where life would take us, but knowing that if we had each other we'd be able to conquer anything and everything.

And here we are now, 7 years later and look at this life we have created. 

And below is that same look so many years later. How grateful I am for this life-for our spunky 3 year old, sweet 18 month-old, and this new little baby of 32 weeks. This look has so much more love and meaning in it.

Adding another page to our marriage journal and it is crazy how quickly this little journal is filling up!

O N E

Sweet Adeline,

Happy birthday darling girl. How I wish time would slow down so I could enjoy you that much longer. You are such a joy in this home. Going to get you in the mornings is my favorite part of the day. You are always happy and giggly (more like a grunting pig) to see me. You start each day full of excitement and always have a smile.

That first tender moment of holding you in my arms and feeling how perfectly you not only fit in them, but in our family has rung true to this day. You were meant to be with us darling.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you as you grow and I see so much goodness in you.

You are my great thinker. You think before you act. I watch you as you take each step and do so with great thought. And it goes for the way you play, the toys that hold your attention are the ones that you have to think where to put the ball and where it will come out. You like magnets and books and stacking toys together. I hope you will always be a great thinker and strive to figure out how things work. I hope you will always remember to be kind in your words because you think about them before you say them.

Everyone is your friend. You love other babies and think you are a riot when adults pay attention to you. You are loud and a chatterbox. I hope you will treat everyone with respect and strive to be a friend to all forms of life.

You are an observer. You observe situations and are thoughtful of them. You are especially into mimicking others moves and sounds. I hope you will choose strong, brave, and faith-filled people as your role models and strive to be more like your Savior.

You are my foodie. You will try all foods and will eat almost everything from green olives to steak but will avoid peaches. I hope you will always be willing to try new things as you are willing to try new foods.

You are fast. In fine motor skills I have always been amazed at how early you could pick things up and how easily you can move those fingers. With gross motor you are just quick. Quick at crawling and your walk is more of a toddling run. I hope you will be quick with kind words and helping others. I also hope you will be willing to put your skills into action-like playing a musical instrument and continuing to be active and healthy. 

I hope you will channel your curiosity into learning all you can and mastering many skills. I hope you will strive to learn and develop your own testimony of the gospel and of our Savior. He loves you so much.

You adore your sister. And she loves you with all of her big little heart. I hope this love continues to grow in you both and that you will choose to be the best of friends. And someday you will be able to hug her back just as tightly.

I hope you continue to face trials and hardships in the face like you did when you sister white-washed you. You brush yourself off and push forward. And you also learned not to be around when Lydia was throwing snowballs.

You are beautiful. From your gray/brown eyes to your curly hair. You are absolutely beautiful. But what makes you most beautiful of all is that you are happy. And I hope you will always search in your heart for that happiness and let it show and radiate from you-like in those moments when you are so so SO happy that you just shake with glee.

You are loved. My darling Adeline, my sweet, sweet baby. You are so loved. Our family adores you and our hearts are overflowing. I know that the love we feel is just a smidgen of the love that Heavenly Father has for you and I want you to know that I KNOW that he will always be there for you. You are ALWAYS loved my little sunshine.

Happy 1st birthday Sweetie!

]  Mommy 
   & Daddy

Adeline's finished first year journal can be found here.

Life with TWO

I love being a mom.

But being a mom requires some adjustment. And now, being a mom of two.. has required even more.

Let me be frank... My first "wake-up call" as a mom of two happened as Adeline started crying for food as I was finishing feeding Lydia from a messy mac & cheese dinner.

I hurried and put Lydia in the tub, grabbed the baby and started nursing her beside the tub. Lydia then started yelling "poop!" which is what she does to let me know she needs to go.

So one hand on the baby eating, one hand pulling Lydia from the tub, to the toilet.. both kids start crying as I try to use a towel to mop the floor with my foot from all the water that spilled out from pulling Lydia out..

When all the sudden.. I have to go to the bathroom too.. and as I'm only just a couple days post-giving birth, this means I really really have to go!

But Lydia is on the toilet and I am feeding a baby.. and so.. I'm in a predicament.

I selfishly get Lydia off the toilet, hurry and go.. and as I put her back on I realize there is poop on the floor because I had grabbed her off mid-go.

Brilliant.

Face palm.

And I thought to myself [sarcastically].. "Wow Anna, you really rock at this mom of two thing!"

I remember the last time I kissed Lydia goodnight before we brought her little sister home. And I remember the first time she saw the "baby" and smothered her in kisses and a good eye poke. I hope she will always love her as much as she does now. (Just maybe a little bit more soft).

I kind of feel like I'm on some sort of safety patrol between Lydia and the baby.. CONSTANTLY.

Lydia loves on that baby so much that I felt like I had to keep her in her crib for the first 2 months to avoid Lydia's excited and overly squishy (not to mention suffocating) hugs.

The crib strategy worked until Lydia figured out how to climb into the crib. So then it was putting the baby in her crib with the door shut... but then Lydia learned how to open the door. So now.. I just listen for a door opening and that is usually my cue that I have about 1 minute and 23 seconds before Lydia is in the crib trying to hold the baby.

My next wake-up call happened at my first Sunday back at 9 AM church.

Brian was working and I was determined to get it right by myself.

I had it all together. I was up at the crack of dawn so I could shower, do my hair, and brush my teeth all before the babies woke up.

I got both kids fed, dressed, and I had time to pump so that I would have some milk to feed the baby at church and wouldn't have to leave to go nurse her.

But the best part of it all was.. I got to church EARLY.

You read that right. I was early enough that we actually got to choose our seats and have time to kill and even listen to the prelude music.

Lydia didn't know what to do with herself and wanted to dig in immediately into my church bag for toys and treats which is normally fine.. but I wanted to savor those.. Savor this time where I wasn't rushing and hushing my children.

The Bishop's wife came over to me before the meeting began and told me if I needed to go nurse the baby or something then she'd be happy to help with Lydia.

I thanked her, but secretly did a little jig inside because that wasn't going to happen.  I had this mom thing down! I was all set!

And then the meeting began.

And it was all great. For about 10 minutes.

Lydia was happily coloring and eating raisins. We made it through the hymn, announcements, and even the bread part of the sacrament.

But the baby started getting fussy.

Never fear! I have a bottle! As I am about to pull the baby from her carseat to feed her, I feel something warm and sticky on my hand..

I look into the carseat...

And the baby has pooped all up her back and front.

There is a POOL of poop surrounding her.

My heart panics but I breathe.. I got this. I can just feed her in her carseat and then go change her after sacrament.

But all of the sudden, I see that underneath the carseat.. you know the little holes the straps go through to hold the baby in? Ya those? Well poop is LEAKING out of those onto the bench underneath.

Gross... really gross..

And I realize.. I didn't pack a change of clothes for the baby.

And I didn't pack the right sized diaper either.

And so... I gather toys for Lydia, rush her to the Bishop's wife... grab my belongings and the baby carseat and try to catch the poop dripping out of the carseat as I exit the chapel.. get in my car... and drive home to quickly bathe the baby, pack my neglected needed belongings, (plus cleaning supplies for the bench) feed the baby.. and get back before the end of sacrament.

And that ended my determination to always have it together.

Instead, my determination to just roll with my best would have to work.

So this is what life with two kids is like (at least for me).

With just Lydia, sometimes I felt like a champion and other times I had no idea what I was doing. It could feel easy and yet it was the hardest thing I had ever done to start the road to motherhood. It was madness and pure happiness.

Over time, I gained confidence. The times that had felt so hard started to feel more manageable. And I felt like I was in a groove.

So we added a child.

Don't be fooled.. what looks like precious kisses in this picture is actually just Lydia wiping her nose on the baby's head. Yep.

And yes.. as shown above, we have some very crazy moments and it gets tough. But I find that I am learning so much this time around. And truly the good outweighs the hard by a long shot.

Here's my list of Lessons with Two:

Find balance. When Lydia wants my attention but the baby needs to be fed.. who wins? When Adeline is crying for me to hold her but Lydia is making a mess by dumping the bath water over the tub? Who gets it? Finding that balance can be so tricky and tiring. I can walk away feeling guilty for choosing to not let my bathroom become a swimming pool by letting the baby cry so I can clean it up.. or I can walk away from Lydia to change the baby's diaper when Lydia desperately wants me to color with her. I can't let myself feel guilty that I can't give my 100% to both children all the time.

Enjoy the small moments. When I do have the opportunity to give my full attention to a child (because the other is sleeping or something) I am learning to give it my all. Lydia is napping and Adeline is wide awake.. enjoy laying there on the floor with her and handing her toys to put in her mouth-even if there are dishes that need to be washed. It is just soaking in the joy on Lydia's face as we three sit in the dark with a flashlight on or allowing her to dump out the toy bin just to play peek-a-boo two times before moving on to something else. Enjoy those fleeting moments.. because that is what they are. Fleeting.

Fits happen. Lydia is my spirited child and often is loud and rambunctious. This also makes her fits seem a million times worse at times. I often feel like I have to hurry and 'calm her down' or that she has to go a whole day without a tantrum for me to feel like a success as a mom. But I am learning. Fits just happen. It's part of the stage. Lydia is 2 and learning how to control her emotions and she'll get there. It doesn't mean I'm a bad mom. Just one that has to learn to be extra patient.

There is only so much you can do. Dealing with two sets of needs at once is hard stuff. When both kids are screaming and it makes you want to scream too.. Take a breath. It is impossible to be the same mom with your first as you are with your second. My attention is split, but I am more confident the second time around and I need to let that confidence take over sometimes.

Prepare ahead. When you go out or have plans to go out. Just make sure to always refill the diaper bag with the much needed-family necessities. This time around I make sure to fill the bag after we get home from something because I definitely know myself well enough to know that the next time I am grabbing it, I am probably in a hurry.

It's okay to be tired. And it's okay to nap! (Even if there is a pile of laundry up the wahzoo on the bed). This one is hard sometimes, even now that Adeline is no longer a newborn. When both girls are napping I have always seen it as the time to get things done. That's when I can tidy the house, do some laundry, and clean the hard water stain in the toilet bowl. But there are some days that the baby had stuffy nose and was up 3 times and Lydia had a bad dream and was up asking for milk and comfort. And those days I really just want to lay down and take a nap with the girls. But I again let myself feel guilty for getting some rest even if I deserved it. Looking at all the "other" moms who seemed to have so much energy and are doing so much with their kids-they have tired days too. We just aren't seeing the big picture.

Let the older child get promoted to Mommy's Helper. Lydia has her moments where she gets jealous.. She'll get jealous when the baby gets milk and she doesn't. Solution? I have her help feed the baby. Does it always work? Nope. We still get tantrums. But we'll get there. Same with the bath.. When I bathe the baby, Lydia wants to be in the tub too. Solution? Have her help me wash the baby's legs. Most of the time Lydia loves being mommy's helper and for me I just needed to let her help more because she is excited about the baby too.

You really do have room in your heart to love another. Maybe this was a silly worry. But I was worried while pregnant that I wouldn't be able to love this new baby as much as I loved Lydia. Or that I wouldn't be able to connect with her or bond. Or that I would love Lydia less because I had someone else to love too. What's amazing is that it isn't about making room in your heart to love another, it's about your heart growing to hold all the new and overflowing love you have. I love and adore Lydia and I equally love and adore Adeline. All that has changed is that my ability to love has increased.

I am sure I have many more lessons to learn, especially as the girls grow and our family eventually grows. So I'll probably continue adding to this list.

I truly love these little beauties. They bring my home and life so much joy. I'm just so happy to be their mama.

Christmas Through my 2 year-old's Eyes

I tried to finish up some last minute Christmas shopping today.

I thought I could make it quick but that doesn't often happen. I was kind of grumbling about how I had, had to return to a store twice because I'd been charged for two items I didn't purchase and then returned to get it sorted out which is always more of a hassle especially with two tired babies.

I had the carseat in one hand and was holding Lydia's hand with my other as we walked into one last store. I found myself half dragging Lydia and thinking "Just the one item.. that's it. Then we'll be home" and then to my dismay and frustration, Lydia let go of my hand and started running and yelling across the store "Jesus! Baby Jesus!"

I found myself chasing her down as she ran up to a life-sized nativity scene and knelt down at the porcelain bale of hay that held a delicate baby Jesus.

At first I tried to pull her away and "go get that item" but something caused me to just stop my hurry.. and watch.

I watched as Lydia touched his face and gave him a kiss right on his cheek and whispered in the sweetest voice "mine baby Jesus."

It made me start to wonder.. What is Christmas through my 2 year-old's eyes? She gets taken around from store to store, party to party, sees an old man in red that always seems to be holding kids and candy canes.. What in the world is she thinking?

For one thing.. I think that looking at Christmas through the eyes of a child makes Christmas a whole lot simpler.

To a child, Christmas is magical and Christmas is simple.

Finding scenes like this after playtime is a heart melter

They see pretty lights everywhere they go, and trees decorated in pretty colors. And though Lydia doesn't understand why she put "balls" on the tree and why they need to stay there and not be played with.. she does understand that it is beautiful.





Lately she has gotten really into "making things" for us and baby Adeline. She will color a picture and say "SEE!?" and then color some more and give it to us. I don't know if it is that we are trying to instill in her the art of sharing or what.. either way, I love it and it makes me smile as I watch her excitement to see our excitement.

She doesn't care how much a gift costs or what it looks like. And often she would much rather play with the bow on top anyway.

But it is that feeling of giving someone something that just warms a person up. And I know that everyone has different love languages, but no matter what your love language is, it just feels warm and fuzzy when you give someone you care about something and you wait to see their reaction.

A child lives in the moment. They aren't thinking about the next activity or what else needs to get done. They take in everything that is around them and I think that is where a lot of the magical feelings come from.

So it makes sense to me that as I am dragging this little girl through store after store, walking in and seeing something that is familiar is exciting. And I am reminded that even the smallest things are magical but we may often be in too big of a hurry to notice them.

Christmas really is just a whole lot simpler than we adults make it out to be.

Really though, the simplicity of Christ's birth is all in the simple and humble stable.. It's the simple act of love that changed the whole world.

I think it's important that through the hustle and bustle of our daily lives mixed with the busyness of the season that we take a moment and appreciate the simplicity of it all.

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.

We put lights up on our house which we have never had the opportunity to do before. What seemed like such a small thing to do has brought me such joy as I drive up and see our house.

Lydia loves to point out all the lights in the neighborhoods and especially if someone displays a star. We went walking around Farmington Station last week to see Santa and every lamppost had a wreath and bow attached. Lydia was so excited and kept calling them "Minnie's hats" which had us chuckling even from that simple thought.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Lydia's visit with Santa. She's never really had stranger danger so I just wasn't sure how she would respond. If you ask Lydia what Santa says she'll respond "Ho, Ho". The Santa at Farmington Station wasn't super friendly which I was pretty disappointed about. He just wasn't great with toddlers who can't really answer the question of what they want for Christmas.

Lydia just sat on his lap very shyly. Her face didn't move and nor did her body. She just held on to that candy cane and didn't want to leave Santa when it was time to hop down. As we walked away she kept repeating "ho ho" over and over.

We have a whole lot of this going on... Brian's rotation for residency has been in the ER this month. It has put his hours all over the place with many switching from night shifts to days and lots of exhaustion, but it has been nice to have him home during the day when he gets the chance and be around these darling little ladies.

And while Lydia has probably wondered why there are so many goodies in the house all of the sudden, I doubt she has cared as we all have indulged in a few delicious baking frenzies for #LIGHTtheWORLD that the church has encouraged. I have loved to get on social media and see what others are doing to be more Christlike and keep him in Christmas. I know I have felt closer to him this season by refocusing each day on His life and example.

When the snow came, I was a lot more excited about building snowmen than Lydia was. She was up for it until Mom thought it would be cool to make a family of snowmen.. You can see how well that turned out. Ever read the book "Snowmen at Night?" If not.. You should. I think our snowmen must have been sledding on the great hills by our house or something.

One of Lydia's favorite things to do is to bring the Christmas light right up to her eye.. particularly the pink lights. Watching her joy with all the wonders of this season has been one of my favorite parts of this month.

   I think right in the middle of our plans and busyness, we are often given small reminders to bring us to remembrance of what is most important. My sweet father-in-law had a heart attack this last week and had double bypass surgery just a few days ago. 

   He is doing remarkably well and we know it is because of the faith and prayers that have surrounded him and my mother-in-law at this time. 

   With Christmas less than a week away, it really put into perspective our priorities. While gifts, lights, baking treats, decorations, Santa, etc are exciting and may seem important at the time-what is most important are our friends and family and our Savior Jesus Christ. How blessed we are to celebrate him this time of year. 

       When we took the kids to visit Craig in the hospital, Lydia kept saying "Grapa owie" over and over. She wanted him to hold her, but didn't understand all the cords and tubes. We made a sign for him to hang in his room that had a picture of all his kids and grandkids holding a letter that spelled out "WE LOVE GRANDPA LARSON!" We just love this man so much. How happy we are to be blessed by such a wonderful man. Give an extra squeeze to your loved ones and an extra kiss to your kiddos. It's worth it. 

May we all count our blessings this Christmas season and strive to embrace the simplicity of the season. As we hold our dear ones near and open our eyes to see from the eyes of a child may it bring a little more faith and happiness as 2016 comes to a close.

"Reely" fishy Halloween

Halloween rocked this year. It was such a fun-filled day. And the cool part is, Brian got to spend the morning with us. It's always special when he has some time to be with us.. And he sure caught himself some "reely" cute fish to spend it with. 

(PS-if you notice.. Brian's costume is the same from two years ago when he was a bug catcher.. he's not much into dressing up so.. Usually a hat and prop is the way to go)

This picture almost had me rolling on the ground laughing..Where's Adeline? Halloween really was a blast and I have a feeling it will only get better from here as Lydia starts to understand more and more.

We went to Gardner Village for the Witchfest and did Six Hags. We swam in corn kernels and played in a haymaze and they had a super cute petting zoo that she adored.. even when she got nipped by the horse. I'm pretty sure it was Disneyland to Lydia. She could have stayed there all day. She also got to ride a pony... and it is a good thing her pony was so well-behaved because her loud laughing the WHOLE time would have spooked most horses. It was adorable. Too bad she can't get a pony for Christmas... ha

Kaitlyn was our neighbor in Chicago.. our doors were seriously about 4 feet apart.. We became instant friends which is such a blessing to find when you're away from family.. especially when the person is your next door neighbor.. close enough that she could hear Lydia singing in the tub at night through the wall! It was a blast to have her come visit as well.

Debbie and Lydia have a very special relationship.. Debbie's husband Brett passed away a few months before Lydia was born. Lydia took immediately to Debbie and it often seemed as if Lydia already knew Debbie. I always had a very strong impression that Debbie's husband Brett had sat Lydia down up there and told her to take good care of Debbie while they were apart. Lydia loves and adores Debbie and I think it is safe to say Debbie feels the same. They share a very very special bond.

 

The llama wanted a selfie.. so I had to oblige. 

That smile says it all... like I said. This was probably how Disneyland would rate to this girl.

This is how Lydia feels anytime she gets to hold the baby... and while it is super duper adorable.. it also scares me and has me on edge ready to save Adeline from Lydia's sudden movements (I'm talking about the times when Lydia will push her to land on her face or try and carry her in a choke hold, or "hand" her a toy and end up giving her a goose egg on her head... those kind of sudden movements).

I truly hope Lydia always loves her little sister as much as her face shows in these pictures. I can just stop worrying when Addie can defend herself a wee bit better.

Lydia is obsessed with airplanes or "kites" as she insists on calling them. She reminds me of the dogs from the movie Up. When they see a squirrel they stop mid-sentence or whatever they are doing and say.. "SQUIRREL!" Lydia does the same thing with airplanes.. "KITE!" or "AIRPANE!" Don't believe me? Watch her video I did for her second birthday. I didn't even put in how many times she got distracted by an airplane flying overhead.

I'm pretty sure Adeline wondered why I woke her up to stick her in this big poofy thing... but it kept her really warm so that was worth it. And she makes an extremely adorable fish if I might add..

Lydia was surrounded by quite the crew for Trick-or-Treating.. and I'm that really cool person that made them all wear a costume (which turned into a hat of some sort).

With Debbie and Kaitlyn  in town they were able to catch Adeline's blessing and spend Halloween with us which made Halloween a real treat. Brian's mom Laurie joined us for some quick trick-or-treating. Brian sadly had to work.. He started night shift for the next couple weeks.. Ugh.. don't get me started on that... ANYWAY.... 

 

Trick or treating was adorable.. like melt my heart can we do this forever kind of adorable. We practiced her saying trick or treat before we went and hearing her darling little voice say that was enough to make anyone dump all their treats into her little pumpkin container.

But when we actually went to the door and she saw the candy people where just giving away.. She would say... "P-p-please?" and that put her trick-or-treating cuteness up a notch. SO STINKING CUTE! Especially as she'd wave goodbye and say "Tank Ooou!" and blowing kisses. My mommy heart was bursting.

Trick or treating crew! If I were to somehow tie in all our costumes I would say that Kaitlyn is the magician with a magic mouse (Debbie) that comes out of her hat because the bunny was on vacation. Me and the babies are the fish in the magician's fish tank in her office where the evil assistant magician Laurie is trying to steal Kaitlyn's hard earned money....

Okay.. that was a stretch.

Happy Halloween from our tank to yours!