It's happening... again! We are getting ready for Baby Larson #2!
Baby is due to join our family September 4, 2016. We are getting more and more excited as the days pass by helping it feel a bit more real.
For some strange reason, all 3 times I have been pregnant, I have known right away.. Brian tells me all the time that it is pretty impossible for me to know so soon, but for whatever reason, I feel different almost immediately. Who knows if this strange feeling will continue for all my kids, but every pregnancy thus far has felt the same.. like my body is no longer just mine.
Waiting for the double lines for 2 weeks to confirm what I already know feels like the longest part of pregnancy haha.. Well at the time it does, the next longest part of pregnancy is waiting for the magical week 14, which for whatever reason is my light switch that turns off the all-day sickness that has me making friends with the toilet and enemies with all things food.
I took the test on Christmas and waited to tell Brian until New Year's Eve. Even though I had felt pregnant for the 2 weeks already, I still felt shocked to be pregnant again. Brian was even more shocked.. he thought I was kidding with him because technically we had decided to wait a few months before trying.. but if there is one thing I have learned through my life-it's that the Lord likes to test me by helping me to trust in his timing, and not my own.
And so.. our next September baby journey started.
I gained weight very quickly in the beginning with this one, like I did with my miscarriage and I felt very crampy as well. This made me very nervous and I worried that I would miscarry this baby as well. Around week 8 I started bleeding and after a few days my doctor ordered a stat ultrasound to see if I had miscarried.
I think I cried the whole way to the hospital and tried to hold myself together once there. Since it was a stat ultrasound, the technician wasn't allowed to tell us much. After 20 minutes or so of her moving the probe across my belly and taking pictures, I asked the question my heart had been crying out for the past few weeks-"Is there a baby?"
The ultrasound technician sighed and said she was sorry but she couldn't disclose anything.
I think my fears showed on my face so she pointed to the screen and said, "Do you see that flicker right there? Can you guess what that is?"
Brian instantly held my hand and said, "Anna, that's the heart. That's our baby right there.."
My heart soared.. There was my baby! All the sudden peace poured into my body.. peace that the Lord had been giving me but I had shut out because of my fears.
The rest of the appointment went smoothly. We had to meet with the doctor afterwards so he could give us the news in which we were told that everything looked great and they didn't have a reason for the bleeding but that I was to go into the doctor later that week and the next to make sure.
In the next week, everything became more normal, the bleeding stopped and the all-day sickness set in and our baby is growing wonderfully. We feel very blessed.
With me feeling so crappy lately, I've let the house go to shambles... thankfully I have the best cleaning crew I could have asked for. They've been super helpful in holding down this fort!
Lydia's new thing is making this face whenever I get the camera out. It's her instant cheeser and it cracks me up. She is our little diva and we love her crazy personality. Besides her books, her other favorite toy right now is her baby doll. She pushes the doll around in the stroller each day and carries her baby around with her. It has helped me to know she won't have too much of a problem adjusting to a new little human around here in a few months.
Even though we've heard the heart beat and seen the ultrasound, this time around feels almost more unreal than with Lydia's pregnancy. And to be honest, I think I am more nervous than before.. because this time when I look at my little girl running around, I know what I could lose more than ever.
My miscarriage was a sadness for the loss of what could have been and the child I didn't get to know. After having Lydia and knowing what it is like to her-my child physically in my arms and love them so much your heart could burst, I fear for losing another baby now that I know what that feels like.
But besides trusting in His timing, the Lord also is helping me learn to have more faith. Each time I have a fear or worry, I say a silent prayer and I have been blessed with peace and comfort almost instantly. I know that whatevesr happens we will not be alone and we will be comforted.
At 14 weeks, I am showing a lot more than I was with Lydia. I feel like I fit into my jeans for weeks and weeks and even then used an elastic around the button to keep using them. This time I don't even want to keep wearing them.. My pants have consisted of mostly stretchy leggings or yoga pants.
Since we move soon and I have to pack anyway, I've just been putting away pretty much anything in my closet that doesn't fit or won't in the next couple months.. and my closet is super bare now! Finding something comfortable and that fits is my daily challenge ha.