Beautiful Baby, Beautiful child

Beautiful Baby, Beautiful child,
Silly and maybe just a little bit wild..

This is my summer update on our Summer of 2016.. I find myself getting behind on posting when life gets as busy as this summer has!

Yes.. she is crying because she just got in trouble for drawing with permanent marker on her face (when really I guess it is my fault for leaving it out right?)

This girl keeps us on our toes. She is very spirited and strong-willed.. and lately I've been realizing we are getting closer and closer to the terrible twos

Sometimes skinny dipping in Grandma's hot tub with Aunt Brookie is the way to go during the summer.

Of course our BIG move to our new house. More pics of the before and after of the inside to come. Everything seems to be taking me about 4 times longer to get anything done these days!

Hiking in Park City with family.. and being scared by a huge moose only a few feet in front of us was quite the adventure!

I adore this little family of mine. Lydia fell asleep on Brian as we came down the hike which of course just melted me right then and there. If I could freeze moments like this I totally would-which is why I am so grateful for modern technology in giving me a small moment captured through pictures.

Something that has been hard for me as a mother to watch was having this little girl develop major separation anxiety that came about this summer from me having to have people watch Lydia so I could work on the house (and not have her around some of the products I was working with and whatnot). It was hard not to feel guilty about it but I knew that working on the house was something I had to do.. we were on a timeline with this baby #2 coming soon and I knew in the long run I would be able to give more attention to Lydia if I could get us in the house and make it livable.

It took me until this last week to actually buy a little pool.. but until then, we have been making due by swimming in lots of totes!!

Being pregnant during the summer is hard at times because I want to do things that make summer unique and fun-like many watersports. I didn't dare try this year due to our worry with this baby's size in the beginning. (It has evened out now.. thankfully.. this baby just grew big quickly).

I am sure glad Brian was able to get out a few times despite his extremely busy schedule! Brian lives and breathes boating and he was definitely the most alive I have seen him in a while when he is out behind the boat. And he got to try wake surfing for his first time which he LOVED!

More on Baby #2 Pregnancy.. Since I'm a bit behind on the pregnancy journal. But here is how pregnancy this time has gone!

Chicago Medical School Graduation 💗

TA DA!!!! Presenting Dr. Larson! After all the dreaming and doubting, the ups and the downs, Brian graduated.

We debated for a while on whether we wanted to fly back to Chicago for graduation.. Paying money for flights, taking the time to walk across a stage, finding a babysitter, a place to stay, etc... Is it worth it we asked ourselves..?

The answer to that was absolutely.

Being able to hear Brian's name as "Dr. Brian Larson" and watching him walk across that stage and be hooded made me speechless. And yes.. I cried. 

You can hear me in the video below...all emotional and who knows what. I just couldn't help shouting for all to hear, "That's my husband! That's him!" and of course crying.. I just allowed myself to give into all the emotions of the last 4 years of watching this man struggle and aspire. 

All those sleepless nights, nail-biting tests, hungry study hours, and lonely days couldn't damper my feelings and excitement. 

There he was.. walking across with the biggest smile on his face.

Yes. This was worth it.

All of it.

We are so grateful for all the tremendous support and love we have received throughout the years. I don't want to imagine what it would have been like without all our family, friends, and the Lord. I can't bring myself to even think about what life would have been like in that world.

We feel beyond blessed to be here. We've seen and felt the Lord's hand in our lives from day one. He has freely given us so many tender mercies and miracles along this journey. Family has come to visit us and take care of us, call just to chat because I'm lonely and pray for us in which we truly felt the prayers. Friends have stood by us in getting us through the days when we needed to relax or vent, adding some fun and excitement to those gray days and learning to lean on each other. We've been fed, clothed, sheltered, and loved.

Thank you... Words can't fully express how thankful we are.

To celebrate, we headed out on Lake Michigan to go sailing. It was perfect to just feel so free and uplifted, even with the dark cloud of residency threatening to hang over us in the next few weeks.

Chicago skyline is beautiful. The weather here in Illinois is pretty decent in the spring, summer, and fall. We've loved the trees and living by Lake Michigan which is pretty much an ocean. We'll miss the food, sights, and sounds. Simple things like fireflies and cicada bugs and all the squirrels (seriously.. like 20 in every tree and half of them black squirrels!). We'll miss being close to Six Flags and all the forest preserves. The museums, one of a kind houses (not cookie cutter like we are used to seeing), and all the farms where we can do our own fruit picking. Of course, above all.. we'll miss the people. Our neighbors, ward friends, the families I worked for and learned to love. We truly will miss it all. Chicago has been good to us and we learned to love it here.

 

So long Chicago. You will be greatly missed. Goodbye medical school.. I'll miss you only sorta. 

To Do List: ☑ Medical School

When Brian and I were dating, he told me his plans to go to medical school and that he would graduate in Spring of 2016. I had just graduated high school only a few months before in 2010 and the idea of waiting until 2016 for Brian to graduate from medical school was daunting.

But then I did the math and calculated that by the time he graduated medical school I would be 24 and it would be a good age to become first time parents.

And halfway through medical school we knew it wasn't right to wait until we were no longer in school, no longer in debt, and closer to family. We knew that it was time for our family to grow. And after I miscarried we second guessed if our feelings on starting a family had been wrong.

We became pregnant again and my new fear was that I would be raising this child alone because her father would be busy with school. I thought that on our first day of medical school that I was giving up my marriage to another woman named Medicine.

I could complain about how many dinners that have gone cold or mushy from trying to keep it warm in the crock pot, or I could talk about each night that they baby got put down to bed without seeing the face of her father-but many of us have gone through similar times.

We aren't crossing the finish line today. But we are celebrating the start of a new race.

This is the end of a very good chapter of our lives-a life where we learned so much about ourselves in our time in Chicago. We learned how to rely on each other, manage our time, work even when we don't want to, become new parents, raise a wild child, and how to truly bloom where we were planted in our little town home. We celebrate today.

There is still so much work to be done, but here is to celebrating the successes that happen all along the way.

The last four years have been different than I ever imagined. You know when people would ask you at the end of high school, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" I did not ever expect to be here.

But I am so happy that I am. The last 4 years have been challenging in so many ways. They have taught us to rely more on our faith and on each other. I went through 4 different jobs, finally settling in on the best job of all: motherhood. Brian worked so hard on studying, clinicals, rotations, and studying some more. On top of that he served as Elders Quorum President in our ward which added its own challenges but helped strengthen him spiritually.

Here is to celebrating the end of one journey and start of a new one. Congrats Brian J Larson, MD!

Baby #2 Pregnancy Journal

This round of pregnancy has been tougher than I remember Lydia's being.. and maybe that is just because Lydia's was so new or maybe I was just stronger with her.. Who knows. 

The first trimester with Baby #2  kicked my trash. Sometimes as I was crawling back to bed after a pretty bad throwing up session, I would wonder if it was really worth it. 

And then of course I would snap back to reality once I'd had a little bit of sleep and I was snacking on crackers and watching Lydia try to color on the walls and realize just how worth it a few months of feeling crappy is.. to be able to have another babe to love unconditionally..

And then second trimester hit and things have been a wee bit better! Since the October 2015 General Conference, I have tried to take Brother Durrant's challenge and Ponderize the scriptures more. In our study as a couple we have been reading the New Testament and during the hard point of my morning sickness, I came across John 16:21. 

This was exactly the comfort I had been needing to read and quickly had it put as my Ponderize scripture. The Ponderize App is definitely worth the $2 paid because it helps me to use it weekly and personalize the scriptures as I go.

I'm not going to lie though-I had this scripture on my phone for at least a month. Whenever I was feeling particularly sick-it helped to glance at this on my phone and remember just how worth it these little babes are.

Anyway, It's time for Baby #2's pregnancy journal! I've been slow to posting these this time just because we have so much going on these days, but who doesn't?

When I look back at Lydia's pregnancy journal I sometimes can't believe I pretty much did one every week! Having a toddler around, I will be lucky to get one at all! So I will be happy with every 2-4 weeks for now. 

Oh and did you read that last one?! We are having another girl!! We are so excited!

I have felt like we would have another girl for some time. In fact, I went as far as to call this baby a "she" and "her" and Brian would remind me that it could be a boy. So one night I started calling the baby a "he" and he was thrown off and asked why. I told him that I would truly be surprised if it was a boy and that I should get used to calling the baby a "he" just in case.

And honestly, it felt weird to call the baby a "he" when I felt differently. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to having a little Brian running around someday, but for now having two little princesses works for me.

Another highlight of having a girl for us was that we already have girl clothing in the right season (the baby and Lydia will be 23 months apart-ish). So financially (remember, we are coming out of Medical school) it would just work really well.

The way the Ultrasound Tech told us that we were having a girl was when she finally got the picture (after chasing the baby around for almost 10 minutes) she said, "Do you see that blackness there? That's your skin.. here's a leg.. and here's a sister!"

It took me a moment to realize what she said and then I turned to Brian and he had a big smile on his face. Another girl! He has a lot of hormones, emotions and estrogen to deal with now!

I just love the idea of having two little sisters so close. My own two older sisters are 20 months apart, and I worked for two families of little girls.

I remember thinking in Lydia's ultrasound almost 2 years ago that she was a little ninja in there. But this baby is like Hammy from Over the Hedge.. Serious moving all the time.. and still so early which tells me it will only get crazier in there.

And that's great. Because like I have mentioned before, with this baby I have been more nervous that ever before about losing her. I think Heavenly Father helped me to feel this baby move early and is helping this little girl to be more active so I receive pretty constant reassurance that everything will turn out just fine.

I'm happy and ready for this family of 3 to be a family of 4.

Match Day 2016

After much anticipation... We are moving to....

SALT LAKE CITY UTAH!!

It felt like the longest morning I can remember as we waited to head over to the school for the ceremony..

The school provided breakfast at 9 and we were allowed to open our envelopes at exactly 11 am. We headed to the school at 9:30 and ate and chatted with people in Brian's class and their families..

We then took a walk... to wait out the time until we received our envelopes.

There was no way that Lydia would sit still in one room for that long and to be honest.. we felt just as restless as her.

So we walked.. and talked.. and waited.. and finally the time came for us to make our way to the room where we'd receive our envelope.

The countdown began... 10, 9, 8, (Heart pounding) 7, 6, 5, 4 (Lydia was trying to eat the envelope and Brian looked up at me and said, "It's Utah.. I know it is") 3, 2,1...

Brian tore the envelope open. And there it was... Utah. And then the tears came and we all hugged as we cried.. Brian and I for excitement and happiness.. Lydia because everyone was screaming and cheering around us and it scared her.

We tried to film our happiness and had someone take a picture for us.. So if we look like we've been crying, it's because we did (and excuse my high pitched emotional voice).

We are going home!!!

After 4 wonderful years in Illinois, we get to go back to the land we love! It still feels too good to be true!

We went and found our good friend Stein (the only other LDS medical student in Brian's year and also his great friend) to see where he matched and it turns out that he matched in Utah as well! We felt so blessed! Out of all the spots available for Internal Medicine, 2 came from Chicago Medical school!

So our current plan is this...

Put in our 30 day notice at the end of March... pack up and move the last week of April back to Utah.. Stay with family until we find a place of our own.

Brian's start date is June 20 and so we have some time to play, look for a place to live, hopefully do a small celebratory trip, and just enjoy being in Utah and with family before he begins.

Ah! I just can't believe this is really happening!!!